


something there that wasn't there before

by faejoonie



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Kisses, Lee Heeseung Best Hyung, Lee Heeseung Is Whipped (ENHYPEN), Lee Heeseung is a Sweetheart, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, One-Sided Crush, Pining, Sharing a Bed, if that wasn't a tag it is now, snow-based shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faejoonie/pseuds/faejoonie
Summary: “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you correctly, you want me to…what?”“I asked,” Sunoo quietly began, “if we could pretend to be dating during our trip with everyone over the holidays.” Heeseung held Sunoo’s stare for a few seconds before letting out a big sigh and slumping back against the back of the booth.“Hah…yeah that’s what I thought you said.” He stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts moving a mile a minute. “Is this about Sunghoon?” Heeseung mentally braced himself as he asked the question even though in his heart, he already knew the answer.“…Yes.” Sunoo’s voice was soft and vulnerable and Heeseung wasn’t strong.OrHeeseung agrees to be Sunoo's fake boyfriend in order to get Sunoo a real one. You probably know how this will go.
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Lee Heeseung, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 90
Kudos: 208





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i'm back so soon!  
> i had this idea during the holidays which is why it's holiday-themed (kinda) but only recently got the motivation to actually write it. i hope you enjoy! i have most of it written, the rest of the chapters will be uploaded as they're edited! should all be up within a week or so.
> 
> the boys are aged up by 2 years, mostly just so more than half of them are old enough to legally spend a week without adult supervision lol.
> 
> title from 'something there' from beauty and the beast
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated <3

A sharp clatter briefly broke the ambience of the small coffee shop as the fork Heeseung had been using to shove cake into his mouth slipped from his fingers and back onto the plate, the sweet piece of cake he’d just eaten turning into cement in his mouth.

Lee Heeseung stared across the small booth in the corner of the hole-in-a-wall shop at one of his best friends, Kim Sunoo, in shock, trying to piece together in his mind what he had just thought he’d heard.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you correctly, you want me to…what?” A small, panicked giggle escaped his lips before he forced himself to take a deep breath and wait for Sunoo’s response. As for Sunoo himself, he seemed to be trying to make himself look smaller than he already was, fox eyes dropped low as he stared at his own untouched piece of cake, shoulders hunched self-consciously. “Sunoo?” Heeseung leaned forward across the table, frowning as he tried to catch Sunoo’s eyes with his own.

Sunoo remained fixated on his plate a few moments more before taking a visibly deep breath and raising his head, staring straight into Heeseung’s eyes. The sudden movement made Heeseung jump, taken aback by the odd mix of determination and desperation in his younger friend’s expression.

“I asked,” Sunoo quietly began, “if we could pretend to be dating during our trip with everyone over the holidays.” Heeseung held Sunoo’s stare for a few seconds before letting out a big sigh and slumping back against the back of the booth.

“Hah…yeah that’s what I thought you said.” He stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts moving a mile a minute. “Is this about Sunghoon?” Heeseung mentally braced himself as he asked the question even though in his heart, he already knew the answer.

“…Yes.” Sunoo’s voice was soft and vulnerable and Heeseung wasn’t strong.

“Sunoo…” Heeseung started with a groan, reaching up a hand to rub at his suddenly tired eyes.

“Hyung, please. I’m so close. I really think Sunghoon-hyung needs one more big push before he’ll ask me out himself, I just know it!” Heeseung listened to Sunoo’s suddenly energetic and determined spiel with resignation, giving himself a moment more before looking back at Sunoo again, taking in how bright and hopeful his eyes were.

“I didn’t realize things had gone that far? Is there stuff that I don’t know about?”

“Well…we meet up for lunch all the time at university whenever he’s there because our schedules are similar.” Sunoo began to count off his fingers. _I eat with you guys a lot too,_ a traitorous voice in Heeseung’s head added. “He always comes to my plays as long as he doesn’t have a tournament going on. He never did in high school.” _We all go to your plays. I always have._ “And!” Sunoo leaned forward, eyes glowing as he checked off a third finger. “Last weekend we went to see that horror movie even though he hates horror! He still came because I asked him to!” _You wouldn’t stop asking,_ Heeseung thought, keeping his expression blank even as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. _And Jay and I were both there._

Heeseung hummed thoughtfully, picking up his fork again and carefully making it look like he was very interested in what was in the middle of his strawberry shortcake. “That’s all well and good,” Heeseung methodically split apart the layers of the cake, removing the strawberries as cleanly as he could. “But that still doesn’t explain why pretending to date me would help you get him to ask you out. Wouldn’t that encourage the exact opposite?” Heeseung glanced quickly up to see Sunoo’s expression fall.

“It’s just…I’ve tried everything, hyung. You know this. I’ve liked him for a long time now and at this point, I’m willing to try anything. And this feels like the one thing I haven’t attempted yet.” Heeseung’s fork cut sideways through a strawberry, red juice staining fluffy white icing.

“I know,” he admitted, setting his fork down. “I guess I just want to know…why me?” Sunoo’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the question before frowning thoughtfully. “You probably could have gotten Riki or even Jungwon to go along with you. Why are you asking me?”

Sunoo’s fingers reached for the napkin beside his plate and began to fiddle with it, crumpling and uncrumpling the white paper. “I guess… because you would be the most believable choice? Riki is a kid still really and Jungwon treats all of us the same. And,” Sunoo lowered his eyes to stare at the crumpled napkin in his hand, “I just trust you a lot I suppose.” Heeseung’s stomach flipped at his words, swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat. “Besides,” Sunoo quickly added, diffusing the suddenly tense atmosphere, “there really isn’t that much of a difference between dating and how we normally are. Just a bit more hand holding but it’s not like you’re going to have to kiss me or anything.” Sunoo laughed but his red ears betrayed his embarrassment. Heeseung joined in even though his mind felt like it was slowly turning into mush.

“I mean, I guess that’s true.” Heeseung sighed once more and stared at Sunoo hard for a few moments, the younger squirming under his gaze. “Fine,” Heeseung finally acquiesced, feeling like a damning stamp had been stuck on this moment of his life irreparably. “I will act the shit out of this, I promise.”

“And I’m the one who’s supposed to be getting his acting degree,” Sunoo said with a relieved smile. “Really, thank you, thank you, thank you. It’ll just be until New Year’s Eve, that’s when I’ll confess. I’ll take you out for whatever food you want after the trip!” Heeseung stuck out his pinkie across the table, Sunoo wordlessly understanding and completing the pinkie swear. 

Sunoo sank back into the booth with a sigh, his breath blowing his bangs up out of his eyes. “That took so much courage to ask you oh my god.” Heeseung laughed at how relieved he looked.

“I’m glad that you did. I guess I know how much you trust me now.” Sunoo beamed back at him.

“Of course, hyung. I can talk to you about everything. That’s why you’re my favourite.” Heeseung scoffed, feeling his cheeks burn as Sunoo’s phone suddenly buzzed from where it lay on the table. Sunoo immediately picked it up, his eyes widening as he quickly began to gather his things and throw on his heavy winter jacket. “Sorry I have to go, I promised I’d meet Riki after he gets out of school.” Sunoo threw his scarf haphazardly around his neck, Heeseung noticing his knit hat sticking out of his jacket pocket. “I’ll probably tell him about the fake dating thing though, just so he doesn’t go ballistic when he finds out that it wasn’t real.”

Heeseung stood up as well as Sunoo struggled to zip up his jacket, leaning over the table to wrap the scarf more securely around Sunoo’s neck. Sunoo blinked up at him as Heeseung pulled the hat out of his pocket and carefully pushed it over Sunoo’s black hair, making sure his ears were tucked in warmly. “I’ll probably tell Jungwon too.” Sunoo beamed up at him and nodded, waving goodbye as he sped out the door of the small café and onto the cold winter street. Heeseung watched him go, only slumping back into the booth when the other boy was out of sight. He stared at his dissected strawberry shortcake in silent shock as he wondered how exactly this unassuming mid-afternoon snack break with Sunoo had turned into an elaborate plot to get Sunoo a boyfriend…by pretending to be his boyfriend.

“You’re an idiot Lee Heeseung.”

That evening, Heeseung lay on his bed, staring up at his ceiling with his phone turning uselessly over and over in his hands. He considered backing out on Sunoo for a moment, telling him that he wouldn’t be able to go along with him this time and that he’d probably have just as good a chance just asking Sunghoon out now as he would if they actually did pretend to date. That thought left his head almost as quickly as it had entered it though. Heeseung was never good at saying no to his younger friends… especially not to Sunoo.

A soft knock sounded at his door and Heeseung pulled himself from his musings to look over at Jungwon who quietly opened his door and slipped into his room, already dressed for bed. Jungwon made his way over to the bed and toed off his socks before slipping underneath the covers and laying beside Heeseung quietly, joining him in examining the ceiling’s paintjob as was their evening ritual.

“You going to tell me what’s going on yet, hyung?” Jungwon eventually broke the silence himself, Heeseung glancing over at his stepbrother petulantly before sighing and closing his eyes. Heeseung’s father had passed away when he was six and his mother remarried Jungwon’s dad two years later. The two boys had immediately been inseparable, acting almost like twins despite their three-year age difference. Heeseung doted on Jungwon endlessly and Jungwon would always come to Heeseung with any problems he might have or things he wanted his opinion on. Even though Jungwon was still in his last year of high school, Heeseung was always impressed by how level-headed and wise his younger brother could be. Which was why he was a little bit nervous telling him about the plan Sunoo had concocted and that he had agreed to. Heeseung felt an impatient jab on his side as Jungwon grew tired of his prolonged silence. “You were so quiet at dinner; I could literally see your spaced-out expression. What happened?”

“Well,” Heeseung slowly began, choosing to keep his eyes closed in order to keep himself calm, “you know I met up with Sunoo this afternoon, right?” Jungwon made a small hum of affirmation. “And, well, you know our trip next week over Christmas? Well, he asked me to pretend to be his boyfriend during it.” The last sentence came out in a rush, Heeseung inwardly flinching as he imagined what Jungwon’s reaction would be. However, no response followed his hurried confession and Heeseung let one eye slowly peep open to make sure Jungwon hadn’t accidentally fallen asleep. He was instead met by Jungwon’s serious cat-eyes staring at him. If Heeseung had to describe his expression, it’d be closer to worried than anything else.

“Is this about Sunghoon-hyung?” Jungwon quietly asked. Heeseung bit his lip and nodded slowly, trying to keep his expression steady. Jungwon sighed at his answer and wiggled closer to Heeseung on the bed, turning on his side to face him properly. “Do you think this is really a good idea?”

“I mean, Sunoo really thinks he’s only one big push away from finally getting him to crack so who am I to tell him otherwise,” Heeseung said, shrugging slightly with a chuckle that sounded forced even to himself.

“That’s not what I meant hyung, and you know it.” Heeseung flinched outwardly this time at Jungwon’s serious tone and resumed looking up at the ceiling, the worry in Jungwon’s eyes getting to be too much for him. “I meant do you think it’s a good idea for _you_ specifically to be doing this.” Heeseung huffed out a laugh, eyes tracing the permanent dark circle above his bed from where he had habitually bounced a basketball off his ceiling while lying here when he was younger.

“It’ll be fine, Wonie,” Heeseung said as much to himself as to Jungwon. “I’m kind of glad Sunoo felt he could count on me to do something like this for him.” Jungwon clicked his tongue in displeasure and curled into Heeseung’s side, resting his head on his older brother’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around him.

“No offence to Sunoo-hyung but he’s so dense it hurts.” Heeseung laughed, patting Jungwon’s arm reassuringly.

“It’ll be fine Jungwon, it’s not that serious.”

“You say that like you haven’t been pining for years…” Heeseung looked over quickly and flicked Jungwon on the forehead, shutting the younger up who pouted in response and grumbled into his shoulder. “It’s true though…”

“It’s really nothing Jungwon. Truly.” Heeseung stared up at the ceiling once more, feeling Jungwon’s eyes on the side of his face, trying not to think about how hollow his words probably sounded.

“Just… don’t get yourself hurt, hyung,” Jungwon whispered. Heeseung didn’t know how to answer, so he didn’t.

Two days before Christmas – the designated starting date of their week-long getaway – the gang made plans to meet up at Park Jay and Park Sunghoon’s apartment in order to finalize plans for their week out.

When Heeseung and Jungwon had become a family, they had moved to a rather nice neighbourhood and there had met Park Jongseong (or Jay as he insisted everyone call him) and his cousin Park Sunghoon. The two cousins lived down the street from each other and Heeseung and Jungwon’s home was right across the street from the neighbourhood park and basketball court. After multiple instances of the four boys circling each other around the playground they finally broke the ice and became fast friends. Heeseung got along well with Sunghoon and Jay even though they were a little younger than him, and all three of the older boys doted on Jungwon happily. Their collective childhood memories were largely bright thanks to the friendship the four of them had formed.

Kim Sunoo had slowly entered their sphere while Jungwon was in elementary school. Heeseung and Jungwon’s mom had become friends with Sunoo’s mother through a few PTA meetings and it wasn’t long before Sunoo began being brought over on weekends for playdates with Jungwon. Heeseung remembered how shy Sunoo was the first time he’d seen him in Jungwon’s room one Saturday morning. The small boy sat in the middle of Jungwon’s carpeted floor clutching a doll to his chest, a small pout on his face. Jungwon sat a little bit away from him, frowning thoughtfully at the slightly older child.

“Just try and make them both more comfortable,” Heeseung’s mom had whispered to him before gently pushing him towards Jungwon’s bedroom door. “Sunoo’s a year older than Jungwon but they’re both so quiet I’m scared they might just sit there the whole time and not say a word to each other.” Heeseung had stared at the two silent boys, silently deliberating before moving over to crouch beside Jungwon.

“What do you think?” He quietly asked his younger brother, Sunoo starting to squirm as he felt both brothers’ eyes on him now.

“I want to play,” Jungwon said with a pout.

“But you’re scared?” Jungwon wordlessly nodded.

“Don’t worry, watch how hyung does it.” Heeseung ruffled Jungwon’s hair before crawling over to crouch beside Sunoo. “Hi, Sunoo. I’m Heeseung, Jungwon’s older brother.” Sunoo’s eyes flitted upwards quickly to look at Heeseung before almost immediately veering away. Heeseung could tell that the younger boy was on the verge of tears. “You can call me hyung too,” Heeseung added, watching the way Sunoo’s hands tightened around the doll that Heeseung could now tell was a fox. Sunoo still didn’t answer, his eyes trained steadfastly on the carpeted ground as a few errant tears leaked out from the corners of his eyes as the boy sniffled sadly.

“I like your fox,” Heeseung suddenly said, pointing at the red fox in question. “It looks just like you!” At that, Sunoo’s eyes widened a little bit and he looked up at Heeseung in wonder.

“My mom says that too,” Sunoo softly said. Heeseung laughed.

“It’s true! You have the same eyes.” Sunoo suddenly beamed up at him, his whole face scrunching up into a smile. Heeseung grinned warmly back as he brushed his sleeve under each of Sunoo’s eyes, wiping away the few tear tracks that were there.

“Do you want to hold him?” Heeseung didn’t even get a chance to answer before Sunoo was eagerly pushing the stuffed doll into his hands before beginning to talk about the other things he had at his own home. Heeseung watched, satisfied as Jungwon slowly crawled closer and began showing Sunoo his own collections, content to just watch them as he slowly turned the fox over in his hands.

After that, Sunoo was a regular presence in their household. As such, it wasn’t long before he became friends with Sunghoon and Jay as well, slotting in well as the second youngest. Early on, Sunghoon began his figure skating career and many weekends were spent shuttling the group to the rink in order to watch Sunghoon compete. The five of them made their way through their school years like this, as even though they all had different friends in their own grades, when they came back home it was always the five of them.

The most recent change to their friendship happened during Heeseung’s last year of high school when Jungwon came home with another little boy in tow. He was introduced as Nishimura Riki, a small boy who had just moved to Korea from Japan through an exchange program to bring in talented young dancers to train in Korea and was placed under Jungwon’s care as a member of the student council. Heeseung knew that the administration probably just meant during school hours but of course Jungwon’s sense of responsibility went above and beyond the call of duty even as a kid in his last year of middle school. Riki was the youngest and was almost even more painfully shy than Sunoo had been but the five older boys were much more aggressive in friend-making now and it wasn’t long before Riki was screaming with Heeseung while playing video games and pouncing on Jungwon and Sunoo every chance he had.

Things had changed a little bit more when the group of childhood friends began entering university. Heeseung was the first one to enroll in their local institution for music production. He continued to live at home in order to save money and because he knew he’d miss Jungwon too much if he couldn’t see him in the evenings anymore. Jay and Sunghoon enrolled the following year, Jay for fashion and Sunghoon for liberal arts but only part-time because of his figure skating and they both moved into an apartment together nearer the university. Their small but cozy apartment quickly became the designated meeting spot for the six boys, all of them taking advantage of their growing freedoms as adults.

Sunoo had begun his first year of university that year, choosing to pursue acting. Heeseung had been more worried than he should have been and had hovered around Sunoo during his first two weeks before Sunoo had finally told him that he would be fine and that no, he wouldn’t get lost anymore. Heeseung had since then begun to face the fact that all his kids were grownups now and he maybe didn’t have to take care of them as much as he had thought he had to growing up. It was a tough pill to swallow for a little while, which probably was one of the reasons why he had so eagerly offered his help to Sunoo when he had asked. It had been a while since he’d felt needed and he missed it. Yeah. That was why. Definitely.

Regardless, all of them had been busy enough to the point that times where all six of them were free were few and far between. Due to this, they had collectively decided that they’d spend a whole week, from the end of Christmas Day to New Year’s Day, up at Jay and Sunghoon’s family cottage, just the six of them. _Well, seven I guess,_ Heeseung reminded himself as he waited outside at the bottom of the apartment building for Sunoo to arrive, Jungwon having headed up before him. A few weeks before, Riki had asked them all if it’d be okay for him to invite a new friend to come with them on their vacation. He was apparently an exchange student from Australia that Riki had met through their exchange program and was the same age as Jay and Sunghoon. He wouldn’t have anywhere to spend Christmas if Riki went on the trip with the other boys, so they had all agreed that he could come along. Riki insisted that they’d really like Jake and that he was set to join the older boys’ university after the winter break began.

Heeseung wasn’t too worried as he pulled out his phone to check Sunoo’s text that said that he was right around the corner for the tenth time. All six of them were friendly and loud when they got together so if there was any awkwardness when the new guy joined them, he was sure it would be quickly drowned out by their shenanigans. Right then, Heeseung was more worried about Sunoo’s plan. Today was the day they had planned to break the news that the two of them had started dating and Heeseung was seriously anxious trying to picture everyone’s reactions. Well, everyone being really only Jay and Sunghoon as Jungwon and Riki already knew that it was all just an elaborate ploy.

Heeseung stamped his feet at his toes began to get cold, peering down the street in the direction he assumed Sunoo would be coming from, eyes narrowing as the sun glared off of the snow-dusted branches of the trees that lined the street. Suddenly, hands were placed over his eyes as a giggling voice Heeseung would recognize anywhere asked “Guess who?” through breathless chuckles. Heeseung sighed after recovering from his initial shock.

“Ddeonu,” he said, voice tinged with exasperation as he pried Sunoo’s fingers from in front of his eyes and turned to face the other boy. “Did you run here?” Sunoo was gasping a little for breath as he reached up to loosen the red scarf that was haphazardly wrapped around his neck.

“I thought I was going to be late, but I guess I made it in time?” Heeseung nodded as the two of them entered the much warmer apartment building and made their way to the elevator.

“Jungwon said that Riki and his friend aren’t there yet.” Sunoo hummed in acknowledgment, his expression becoming determined as they both waited for the elevator to arrive. The silence stretched between them until it was broken by the ding and opening of the elevator doors, the two of them stepping inside and pressing the button for Jay and Sunghoon’s floor.

After the doors closed before them, Heeseung glanced over at Sunoo whose eyebrows were scrunched together in thought. “So… what’s the plan?” Sunoo took a visibly deep breath and seemed to nod to himself before suddenly reaching over and holding Heeseung’s chilly hand. Heeseung jumped slightly at the sudden contact, Sunoo’s own hand a block of ice from being outside without gloves but made no movement to jerk his hand back.

“Just follow my lead, hyung,” Sunoo said, looking straight ahead in determination. Heeseung wordlessly nodded and squeezed Sunoo’s hand in silent support. The elevator slowed to a stop and the doors opened to reveal a familiar carpeted hallway. The two of them made their way past several doors, their footsteps muffled against the carpet, before stopping outside of Sunghoon and Jay’s door. The two of them exchanged a glance, tightening their grip on each other’s hands before Sunoo rang the doorbell.

It only took a few moments for the door to swing open to reveal a grinning Jay who was talking over his shoulder at Sunghoon who was apparently deeper within the apartment. Jay turned back to greet the two newcomers with a wide smile, his welcome dying on the edge of his lips as his eyes quickly flitted over their awkward smiles and joined hands. Jay’s own smile died, his mouth dropping open in shock as he silently stepped back to let the two of them in.

Heeseung followed Sunoo into the apartment and tried not to break into nervous laughter as they both began taking off their coats, boots and hats, handing them over to Jay who – to everyone’s surprise – had yet to utter a word. Heeseung noticed that a strand of Sunoo’s shiny black hair was sticking up after taking his hat off and he reached forward to gently pat it down. It was a gesture that he would do to any of them but the slightly strangled sound coming from Jay’s throat caused Heeseung to realize that all of his interactions with Sunoo from now on would come to mean something more.

Sunoo smiled up at him and took his hand in his own again, the two of them glancing over at Jay who continued to gape at them like a fish. “Aren’t you going to invite us inside?” Sunoo asked with a laugh when Jay continued to remain motionless.

“Oh, what? I mean… yeah go ahead?” Jay spoke as if in a daze as the two of them turned and headed into the living room. They were met in the middle by none other than Park Sunghoon who had come over when the three of them hadn’t emerged from the entryway.

“Why isn’t anyone talking, are you all still alive or…?” Sunoo stiffened as the three of them came face-to-face, Heeseung feeling his hand spasm slightly within his own. Heeseung gently squeezed Sunoo’s hand in reassurance as he smiled at Sunghoon who had joined Jay in his speechless shock.

Heeseung watched Sunghoon’s expression carefully as the skater carefully kept his eyes on their joined hands before bringing his gaze up to look at Heeseung and Sunoo with intense consideration. Sunghoon had always been a generally calm person and was known to be able to hide his emotions well so it was almost impossible to guess at what was going through his head right now. Sunoo must also be having a hard time deciphering his gaze if his suddenly sweaty hand within his own was anything to go by.

The two of them suddenly felt an arm go around each of their shoulders as Jay suddenly bulldozed them from behind with a hug, a laugh escaping him, breaking the tension that had been slowly building in the apartment.

“Wait, wait, wait so… so you guys are… together?” Heeseung nodded slowly and held up his and Sunoo’s joined hands, shaking them a little bit. “Wow… how long has it been?” Heeseung and Sunoo exchanged glances, each of them going over the story they had concocted over text a few days ago.

“Only a week,” Sunoo softly said, his gaze straying back to Sunghoon’s still impassive face before turning back to address Jay. “It’s still new so we’re just going to be testing out how we feel during the trip.” Jay laughed loudly and slapped them both on their backs, shoving them past Sunghoon and further into the living room, steering them towards an armchair that they were both able to squish onto together.

“That’s so crazy, and here I thought I’d have to deal with you two being dumb for three or four years at least.” Heeseung blinked at his friend in surprise as Jay and Sunghoon moved to sit on the couch across from them, Sunghoon still looking at them with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What are you talking about?” Heeseung asked, rubbing a small circle on the back of Sunoo’s hand as he noticed the younger was starting to look a little more nervous. Sunoo’s unoccupied hand was picking at the leather of the armchair, his breathing fast and anxious beside Heeseung.

“I mean, I can’t say this is an exactly surprising turn of events,” Jay explained, raising his eyebrows meaningfully at the two of them before nudging Sunghoon’s side. “Right, Hoon?” Sunghoon blinked as if waking up from sort of vision and nodded slowly, a slow smile starting to spread across his handsome face.

“I kind of always thought that you guys might like each other.” Sunghoon’s voice was as soft as always, filled with sincerity. “I’m really happy for you both. I hope it works out.” Sunoo’s grip on Heeseung’s hand was almost vice-like as Heeseung forced himself to crack a smile even though his thoughts were being thrown into confusion.

“Yah, Jungwon-ah!” Jay called, summoning Jungwon from where he had been hiding in the kitchen, not wanting to get involved in their ploy more than he already was. Jungwon appeared in the doorway and looked at Heeseung and Sunoo squished on one couch with impassive eyes before looking at Jay with a raised eyebrow. “Did you know about this?” Jungwon nodded. “And you didn’t think to tell us?! How long have we been friends?” Jungwon rolled his eyes and approached Sunoo, freeing Heeseung’s hand from Sunoo’s death-grip and pulling the smaller up to join him back in the kitchen.

“Why would I ever rob these two from getting to tell you both this themselves?” Jungwon tossed over his shoulder as the two younger ones hid away in the kitchen, Heeseung knowing full well that Jungwon was probably making sure Sunoo didn’t faint away from stress before he started to give him a lecture on how bad of an idea all this was.

Heeseung momentarily debated the idea of following them but quickly discarded it when he turned back to see Jay and Sunghoon looking at him with almost matching smirks on their faces. Heeseung felt himself blush and he frowned in frustration, shifting in the armchair that seemed too big now without Sunoo squished in beside him.

“So hyung,” Jay lazily drawled, stretching back into his couch with a grin. “You finally scrounged up the courage to ask Sunoo out, did you?” Heeseung scoffed in protest, the story the two of them had come up with springing forward in his mind.

“Please, he was the one that asked me out first,” Heeseung countered. It technically was true; this all stemmed from Sunoo’s idea. And now Heeseung had to suffer under the scrutiny of two of his best friends because of it. One of Sunghoon’s dark eyebrows raised in surprise at Heeseung’s confession.

“Really? _He_ was the one to ask _you_ out?” Frowning, Heeseung side eyed Sunghoon.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sunghoon shared a glance with Jay.

“It was always pretty obvious how much you doted on Sunoo,” Jay explained, choosing his words carefully as he noticed Heeseung bristling. “It was Sunoo that was harder to figure out because he always acts close with everyone he’s at least somewhat acquainted with.” Heeseung tried his best not to outwardly show how startled he was at Jay’s explanation. _I was that obvious?_ Clearing his throat, Heeseung shrugged.

“Apparently he liked me more enough than the rest of you to actually ask me out.” Heeseung closed the thread of conversation out with that as he desperately hoped his two friends would move onto other subjects. It was getting to the point where his own head was getting confused as to what was fake and what was real. He wished Jungwon would bring Sunoo back so he could let the younger do the talking instead.

He was saved from any further words from his friends along this line of questioning by another knock on the door to the apartment.

“Riki’s here!” Jay called into the kitchen as he stood and disappeared into the entryway to open the door, Heeseung and Sunghoon remaining seated in the living room. Heeseung thought the atmosphere felt a little bit awkward but he hoped that it was just him. Sunghoon gave him a small smile as they heard Riki’s voice ring through the room, followed by a new gentle and unfamiliar voice that Heeseung assumed must be Jake.

Heeseung and Sunghoon stood up as Riki and Jay walked into the room, Riki giving an appraising look to Heeseung and sending a wave at Sunghoon before ducking into the kitchen to see Jungwon and Sunoo. The person Heeseung assumed to be Jake followed slowly behind Jay, his eyes wide and gazing at everything around himself with bright curiosity. He might be one of the cutest human beings Heeseung had ever seen, and that’s saying something as he had Kim Sunoo, Yang Jungwon and Nishimura Riki in his life. Jake had dyed floppy brown hair and was on the shorter side with bright, expressive puppy-like eyes that met Heeseung’s and Sunghoon’s apprehensively.

“Since Riki just escaped I guess I’ll be the one to introduce you even though we literally met ten seconds ago,” Jay grumbled in mock-annoyance. “That’s Lee Heeseung, he’s a year older than us.” Heeseung smiled at the younger boy and held out his hand. Jake took it, looking up at him with wide eyes and a bright smile.

“Hi, nice to meet you I’m Jake.” The words came out practiced and rushed and slightly accented and it was so adorable that Heeseung couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“It’ll be fun getting to know each other on the trip,” Heeseung said, patting Jake on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in.” Jake nodded eagerly before turning to face Sunghoon who Heeseung now noticed seemed to have turned into a statue judging by how still he was beside him. Jake’s already wide eyes seemed to widen even more as he made eye-contact with Sunghoon. This happened to most people when they met Sunghoon for the first time; no one could deny that he was jaw-droppingly handsome. But Heeseung noticed that Jake was full-on blushing. Feeling a small sense of rising panic, he glanced at Sunghoon to see the other boy looking at Jake with his own wide-eyed stare, seemingly at a total loss for words.

“And that’s Park Sunghoon,” Jay added from behind them, he himself glancing between the two of them curiously. At the mention of his name Sunghoon jolted slightly and held out his hand which Jake immediately took.

“Hi,” Sunghoon said, laughing awkwardly as he continued to gaze at Jake with a look of almost wonder on his face.

“Hi,” Jake responded with a bright grin, his whole body seeming to radiate a bright energy that made everyone around him warm.

“It’s um… nice to meet you,” Sunghoon continued lamely, reaching up with the hand that wasn’t holding onto Jake’s to rub the back of his neck awkwardly.

“It’s really nice to meet you, too.” The two of them finally let go of each other’s hands although they were still holding their own staring contest in front of Jay and Heeseung with seemingly no intention of ending it.

The four of them were soon shaken out of the sudden atmosphere that had been created by the three youngest filing into the living room, finally emerging from the kitchen. Jake turned to let himself be introduced by Riki to Jungwon and Sunoo as Sunghoon and Heeseung made their way back to where they had both been sitting. Soon the seven of them were all seated, Sunoo rejoining Heeseung on the armchair, Jay and Jungwon plopping beside Sunghoon on the couch, Riki sitting on the ground at Jungwon’s feet with Jake sitting beside him.

Jay glanced over to where Sunghoon was taking big sips from a glass of water he had gotten from the kitchen and smirked. “What’s going on Sunghoonie? You’ve been so red ever since a certain someone entered the room.” Sunghoon spluttered in protest, water spilling all over his sweater as he reached over to punch Jay in the arm while Heeseung watched – with dawning realization and subsequent horror – as both Jake across from him and Sunoo right next to him, blushed profusely and refused to make eye contact with anything but the carpeted floor.

Without allowing himself a moment to think it through Heeseung slowly pulled Sunoo’s hand into his own and tightly held it. Sunoo smiled slightly at his side as they all began to discuss the impending trip after Jay and Sunghoon stopped play wrestling but Heeseung knew that he wasn’t holding his hand to further their charade but rather to pre-emptively comfort the other boy. Heeseung thought about whether he should tell Sunoo about his gathering suspicions, but he ultimately decided not to. _They’ve just met,_ Heeseung reasoned to himself as he tried to refocus on the discussion at hand. _Sunoo has plenty of time to get in there._ As the evening wore on though, Heeseung began to suspect that this upcoming week might not end up being as smooth sailing as Sunoo had initially hoped it would be. 


	2. Chapter 2

The seven boys had agreed to spend Christmas morning with their families before meeting up in two separate cars and making the couple hour drive up into the mountains where Jay and Sunghoon’s family’s cottage was located. They arrived as the sun was ducking down beneath the horizon, the sky growing rapidly dark as clouds rolled in, soft fluffy snowflakes beginning to drift down from above.

The group was a whirlwind of noise and energy as they dragged their bags into the house only to find it nice and warm on the inside. Christmas lights had been hung on the stairway and the mantle above the large stone brick fireplace and a beautiful Christmas tree sat in the corner of the living room completely covered in lights and ornaments.

“My parents must have come in yesterday to get the place ready for us,” Jay said with a chuckle as the friends excitedly gathered in the front foyer. Heeseung felt Sunoo slump slightly against him as he placed the suitcase he’d been dragging behind him tiredly at his side. Heeseung put an arm around Sunoo’s shoulders to obligingly support him, knowing that Sunoo was quick to burn out at the end of longer days.

“So, rooms.” Sunghoon clapped his hands together to get the boys’ attention.

“Right,” Jay said. “So, there’s four rooms which means six of us will have to share.” Everyone nodded.

“I guess it goes without saying that the one couple among us will be sharing,” Sunghoon continued, casting a sly glance at Heeseung and Sunoo, everyone else stifling a laugh. Heeseung felt his ears burn as Sunoo shrank into him more, hiding his face in his hands so convincingly that even Heeseung was sure that he was genuinely embarrassed.

“Jungwon-hyung and me!” Riki said, glancing quickly at Jungwon before raising his hand. Jungwon rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“There goes my sleep, I guess. You’re literally an octopus when you sleep.” The youngest only grinned back at Jungwon, looking very satisfied with himself.

The same-aged trio exchanged glances with each other.

“I’m the newest here so I can sleep alone if you guys want to room together,” Jake said, giving them an encouraging smile.

“Actually…” Jay glanced quickly at Sunghoon who was looking at Jake with an indecipherable expression. “I’m really bad at sharing beds with people and I need to have total quiet in order to fall asleep. I’ll sleep in the room my parents use.” Jay nudged Sunghoon’s shoulder. “You and Jake can share the last room, Hoon.” A small smile tugged up the corners of Sunghoon’s lips even as Heeseung felt Sunoo tense up within his arms.

“Only if that’s okay with you, Jake?” Jake nodded enthusiastically, his eyes brightening.

“Of course!”

“Alright then it’s settled. Let’s meet back down in the living room in twenty minutes so we can do our Manito,” Jay said, concluding the meeting with a clap of his hands that caused the seven boys to disperse to their rooms.

Heeseung followed everyone up the stairs, Sunoo trailing a little behind him as he lugged his suitcase upwards step-by-step. Their room was right beside Jungwon and Riki’s almost directly at the top of the stairs. Jay and Jake and Sunghoon’s rooms were a bit further to the back of the house.

Heeseung opened the door to their room and was once more reminded of how rich the Parks were. Jay’s father was the CEO of their family-owned conglomerate and Sunghoon’s dad also ran a business underneath it. It was easy to forget how rich their families were because they never acted like it. Heeseung was pretty sure their families had taken steps to ensure their children wouldn’t grow up spoiled and so they’d had a pretty normal upbringing which had allowed them all to become friends in the first place.

It was in times like this though that the reality of their wealth set in. Their room could honestly be compared to a hotel room. The bed in the center was queen-sized and a door to a walk-in closet was right beside the door to the room’s own porcelain covered bathroom. A vanity sat in the corner of the room beside a large picture window with a window seat that Heeseung immediately approached and looked out of. Even though the light was quickly fading outside he could see that their view looked east towards a large pine forest that stretched out covering the mountainous region they were in. Heeseung felt healed at he gazed out at the landscape so far removed from the busyness and noise of the city he was so used to.

He was disrupted from his thoughts by the sound of a long, tired sigh coming from behind him. He turned around to see Sunoo slump onto the foot of the bed and flop backwards, his eyes closing tiredly, seeming to sink into the cushy mattress.

“Wake me up when it’s time to go back down,” Sunoo mumbled quietly.

“Okay.” Heeseung stepped back from the window and gingerly sat beside Sunoo, slowly lying down beside him and pulling out his phone. They spent the following twenty minutes like this, Heeseung listening to Sunoo’s gentle breathing as he scrolled through social media, liking his friends’ holiday posts.

Soon it was time to head back downstairs. Heeseung poked Sunoo awake and they both grabbed their gifts and made their way towards the living room. They were apparently the last to arrive as everyone else had already gathered on the carpet around the Christmas tree, the fireplace roaring behind them.

“There you guys are,” Sunghoon said, glancing up as Heeseung and Sunoo squeezed into the circle. “We were almost positive you guys had fallen asleep.” Sunoo squirmed under his gaze as he reached up to fix his bedhead.

“Sunoo did. I didn’t.” Heeseung was quick to correct them, laughing at the glare Sunoo shot him.

“Wow the plot twist,” Jay snorted, causing the rest of them to snicker.

“Alright! Who’s going first?” Jungwon brought the rest of them back to order by slightly raising his voice. The seven boys exchanged glances with each other, no one volunteering.

“The oldest!” Riki suddenly exclaimed and Heeseung burst into laughter as six pairs of eyes swung around to look at him.

“What are you guys talking about, shouldn’t it be the hosts who go first?” Jay and Sunghoon looked at him innocently.

“Come on _hyung,_ set a good example,” Sunghoon teased and Heeseung caved as easily as he always did whenever any of them asked him to do something. With a sigh he pulled out his carefully wrapped present that he may or may not have had Jungwon help him with during the wrapping process.

“I got Sunoo,” he said, ears burning as a chorus of “ooooo” spread around the group. Sunoo turned to face him with curiosity, their knees brushing against each other as Heeseung held out his present. “Merry Christmas.” Sunoo gave him a bright smile as he took the present and eagerly unwrapped it. Heeseung watched Sunoo’s face change in surprise as he took out a small desert fox plushy from within the wrapping paper. His hands stroked the soft fur as he fiddled with the collar around the toy’s neck and saw that the tag read “Sun”. 

“Heeseungie-hyung,” Sunoo whispered, holding the toy close to his chest as he looked up at Heeseung with wide eyes. “I love it, thank you so much.” Heeseung knew that Sunoo recognized it as being almost the exact same as the doll he had had as a child that had gotten lost several years ago. Even though Sunoo was past the age of needing a doll for emotional support, Heeseung still couldn’t shake the idea from his mind as it was so attached to his first memory of Sunoo himself. Heeseung smiled at Sunoo, feeling his chest fill with warmth at how happy the other boy looked.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss!” Heeseung ignored Jay’s taunting which was quickly silenced by an elbow in the side from Jungwon and instead opted to pull Sunoo in for a tight hug that Sunoo eagerly returned. Heeseung’s hand brushed along Sunoo’s back for only a moment before Sunoo was pulling away, setting the doll safely in his lap before pulling out his own present.

“I guess it’s my turn.” Sunoo lifted his eyes bashfully to look over at Sunghoon. “I got Sunghoon-hyung.” Heeseung’s fingers curled into the thick carpet they were all sitting on as Sunghoon’s dark eyebrows raised in surprise before he shuffled over to get the present from Sunoo. He quickly unwrapped it to reveal a skate sharpener. “I wasn’t sure what to get you that you would actually use day-to-day so I figured this would probably work.” Sunoo tried to play it off as being nonchalant about it but there was nothing unconcerned about the way his ears burned as he explained his present.

Sunghoon hummed thoughtfully as he turned the small tool over in his hands. “It’s not like you’re the only person to have thought about this as a gift this year,” he slowly said, eyes glancing upwards to smirk at Sunoo. Sunoo straightened in indignation and let out a scoff.

“Well if you already have so many, I can give you the receipt so you can go get a refund, see if I care.” Sunoo’s tone was indignant and haughty and also very convincing.

Sunghoon laughed good-naturedly and came forward to wrap Sunoo up in a hug. “I’m just kidding Sunoo, thank you. You really thought a lot about it, I can tell.” Sunoo sniffed disinterestedly but Heeseung watched as he leaned into the hug, his fingers slightly curling to grip onto Sunghoon’s sweater so that he was the one left clinging as Sunghoon pulled back.

“Merry Christmas,” Sunoo quietly said as Sunghoon scooted back to his spot between Jay and Jake.

“You too. Well, I got Jake!” Sunghoon exclaimed, turning to his side to face the newest member of their group. “It was a little hard to choose a gift for you since we only met like two days ago officially, but I did what I could.” Sunghoon looked quickly over at Heeseung. “My present is actually kind of similar to Heeseung-hyung’s.” He held his present out for Jake to take. Out of all the presents so far, his were the most misshapen. “It was super hard to wrap,” Sunghoon admitted as Jake eagerly tore into the wrapping paper. Jake pulled a soccer ball out first.

“You mentioned that you really liked soccer and hoped you could play it at university,” Sunghoon was quick to explain.

“I did say that,” Jake said, spinning the ball over and over in his hands with a wide smile on his face.

“We can play in the basement later, hyung,” Riki called over to Jake.

“You could at least ask if that’s okay first.” Everyone chose to ignore Jay’s grumbling as Jake reached into the wrapping paper once more and pulled out a stuffed golden retriever plushy. Jake stared at it in his hands for a little bit, seemingly lost in thought. Sunghoon’s hands hovered restlessly as Jake continued not to speak.

“You showed me a picture of Layla,” Sunghoon slowly said. “When you talked about her it sounded like you really missed her.” At Jake’s continued silence it seemed like Sunghoon started to panic a little bit and he rushed on with his next words. “I couldn’t find a border collie doll but the golden retriever still kind of looks like her and I thought maybe it would help you not miss her as much…” Jake reached out a hand to touch Sunghoon’s knee as he looked up with a watery smile on his face. Sunghoon squinted at him, a slightly horrified expression crossing his handsome features. “Are you… crying?”

Jake laughed and shook his head, holding the stuffed doll close to him as he threw one arm around Sunghoon’s shoulders to bring him in for a big hug. “No, I’m not. I’m just touched, this is the best present I’ve ever received.” Sunghoon laughed disbelievingly as he hugged Jake tight. “I’m serious,” Jake insisted as they both slowly pulled back. “Thank you so much this is… much more than I ever expected.” Sunghoon smiled and Heeseung noticed with surprise that he was blushing. He quickly looked over at Sunoo beside him, but the other boy was fiddling with Sun on his lap, listening with an impassive look on his face.

“I just want you to feel more comfortable here so I’m glad you like it,” Sunghoon said as the gift-giving resumed. The evening wrapped up relatively quickly after that. Heeseung got a brand-new studio microphone from Jay that definitely went over the budget that they had set but Jay insisted that this was an investment for Heeseung’s future and that when he went big he wanted a cut from the royalties he made. Heeseung knew he was full of shit but accepted it anyways.

The evening came to an end quickly after the gift-giving, all of them feeling tired earlier than usual because of the excitement and travel. Back in their room, Heeseung got ready for bed in record time and pulled out his phone to play a few games as Sunoo quietly did his skincare routine while sitting in front of the vanity. They didn’t speak but the silence was comfortable, if weighted. Heeseung knew that Sunoo had probably caught onto the subtle flirting going on between Sunghoon and Jake but he wasn’t sure if that was something he should bring up or not. Part of him wanted to ask if Sunoo had any plan in mind but the other part of him really wanted to not address it at all.

Before Heeseung could form a definite conclusion in his mind, Sunoo turned off the lights and crawled onto the other side of the bed and pulled the covers over himself, Sun held firmly under one arm. “Good night, hyung,” he said, voice muffled from under the blankets.

“Good night.” Heeseung stayed up a while longer, allowing himself to space out while playing games before finally caving into sleep as well.

Heeseung was jolted awake early by what sounded like Jay shrieking with laughter downstairs, a scream that was very quickly cut off. Heeseung blurrily opened his eyes, shifting slightly before suddenly freezing, realizing that he was currently holding onto Sunoo, both arms wrapped firmly around him. He figured he had probably rolled around to his side of the bed in the middle of the night and was drawn to his warmth. Still half-asleep, Heeseung made sure that Sunoo was motionless, seemingly still asleep as he slowly unpeeled his long limbs from around the smaller boy and gingerly rolled back over to his side of the bed. Heeseung easily fell back asleep, albeit feeling a bit colder than he had been when he had been briefly jolted awake, the memory swiftly fading back into the sea of unconsciousness.

Beside him, Sunoo let out the breath he’d been holding as his body relaxed for what felt like the first time in hours, the blush he’d been fighting back finally filling his face.

Later that afternoon, the seven boys were bundled up and gathered outside with sleds that had been unearthed from the basement of the cottage.

“There’s a pretty sick hill not too far away that leads almost right back to the house,” Jay explained as he led the way away from the cottage, beginning to head up a slope that started a few dozen feet away from the house and headed into the beginnings of the big forest that covered this region. “There are some parts that can be a bit tricky to steer through but as long as no one goes stupidly fast everyone should be fine.”

Heeseung walked beside Jungwon, helping his younger brother pull the sled he planned on sharing with Riki. The youngest in question was busy trying to make snowballs every few feet even though the weather was too cold for the snow to stick together in the shape he wanted it to. Sunoo walked a bit ahead of them alongside Sunghoon and Jay who were dragging other sleds with them, animatedly recounting stories of childhood trips they’d had here before. Heeseung glanced over his shoulder to see Jake lagging a bit behind and couldn’t help but notice that the younger boy looked a bit miserable. Heeseung took the sled from Jungwon and nodded for him to go ahead as he slowed his pace to match Jake’s.

“You good?” Heeseung asked, nudging the boy with his shoulder. Jake looked up at him in surprise but with a grateful smile beginning to spread across his face. He shrugged, burrowing his face deeper into the scarf that was wrapped tightly around his neck so that only his currently dull puppy-like eyes poked through his outerwear.

“I had never seen snow before coming to Korea,” Jake explained. “I’m really not used to the cold.” Heeseung made a sound of realization.

“So, you’ve never been sledding either then?” Jake shook his head. “You can come with me if you want. I’ll make sure to go slow for you.” Jake smiled up at him but shook his head and pointed up ahead to where Sunoo, Jay and Sunghoon were walking.

“Sunghoon already said he’d go with me. Thanks though, hyung.” Almost as if he had heard his name, Sunghoon turned his head back to check on Jake and Heeseung and gave them a small smile. Sunoo noticed Sunghoon’s distraction and turned too, his eyes meeting Heeseung’s quickly as he watched them walk together but he looked away before Heeseung could get a read on his mood.

The walk up the slope Jay had insisted they use was almost absurdly long, but it did seem like most of the area they walked through was able to handle people sledding through it. There were large portions that were free of trees and the parts that did have trees weren’t so heavily obstructed as to make them impassable. Heeseung agreed with Jay and figured that they’d be okay as long as their speeds were manageable.

Finally, the group reached the top of the slope only to find that it in fact ended at a gradual cliff face. Heeseung came up beside Sunoo as they all stared over the edge. In the distance they could see the buildings of the nearest town several miles away below them. The forest continued on at the base of the cliff a few hundred feet below a steep and rocky fall.

“I bet you can see the fireworks the town puts on for New Year’s Eve from here,” Sunoo said as they all took in the view. Heeseung hummed in agreement, picturing how pretty that would be from this vantage point.

“Okay,” Jungwon said, bringing their attention back to the task at hand. “How are we doing this.” Heeseung watched as Sunoo glanced over at Sunghoon multiple times, the conversation Heeseung had just had with Jake going through his head.

Heeseung resolutely reached out to put his hand around Sunoo’s shoulders and pulled him to his side. “I’ll go with Sunoo.” Sunoo glanced up at him, his lips parting slightly as if he was about to speak in protest but Sunghoon stepped forward before he could.

“I already told Jake I’d go with him since it’s his first time.” Sunghoon smiled over at Jake as Sunoo’s eyes widened slightly in realization and let the words he’d had been on the verge of saying die on his lips, succumbing to Heeseung’s insistent half-hug.

“And what makes you the expert on sledding,” Jay grumbled from the side. “I could have gone with Jake and done just as well.” Sunghoon snorted in response.

“Please, I’m the winter sports expert. This should be obvious.” A tired sigh came from Jungwon as he pulled Jay to his and Riki’s sides.

“You can come with us Jay-hyung.” With that they played rock-paper-scissors to see who would have to go first. Heeseung won so he and Sunoo stepped back to let Jay, Jungwon and Riki go first. Riki insisted he wanted to ride in the front and Jay said he wanted to be in the back so he could steer and control their speed while Jungwon patiently complied with both of them as he squeezed himself into the middle.

With a yell, the trio began sliding down the hill at a controlled speed, disappearing around a few trees after only a few seconds, Riki and Jungwon’s screams of laughter echoing back at the four still to go.

“You ready?” Sunghoon asked, looking over at Jake who was watching the spot where the three had vanished with a look of apprehension in his eyes. He soon gathered himself enough to nod his head in determination and took a seat at the front of the sled. Sunghoon slid in behind him and wrapped his arms loosely around the shorter boy. “Relax,” Sunghoon said with a chuckle, patting Jake’s knees. Jake laughed; his voice high-pitched with nerves as he took a deep breath.

“Let’s go!” He gave Sunghoon the signal, Heeseung and Sunoo watching as Sunghoon pushed them both forward with his hands and feet before pulling them up and holding tightly onto Jake as they followed the path carved by their friends through the snow. Jake’s bright laughter filled the cold air as he and Sunghoon also disappeared behind the trees.

The remaining two stood unmoving for a few moments, the silence seeming to echo in this space, any sound being made by the nature around them quickly getting absorbed by the thick layer of snow on the ground. Heeseung glanced over as he suddenly saw Sunoo grabbing the sled from where it had been left near the edge of the cliff and brought it over to where everyone else had pushed themselves off down the tree-covered hillside. His movements were rushed and jerky and Heeseung could tell from the way his lips were pursed in a pout that he wasn’t very happy.

“Sunoo-yah,” Heeseung gently said as he watched Sunoo plop down on the front of the sled and look back at him. “No matter when we leave, we won’t be able to catch up with them.” Sunoo’s fox-eyes stared at him seemingly unimpressed before he turned to face forward once more.

“If you don’t want to walk down by yourself hyung, you’d better get on.” Heeseung shook his head and reluctantly squeezed in behind Sunoo, wrapping his long arms and legs easily around the other’s slighter frame.

“If this is about Jake and Sunghoon,” Heeseung slowly said, patting his hand reassuringly on Sunoo’s knee, “I only said that we’d go together because Sunghoon had already offered to take Jake this morning. I wouldn’t have stepped in otherwise.” Sunoo stiffened slightly and gathered the rope attached to the front of the sled into his lap.

“I know that, I heard Sunghoon-hyung say it himself. You don’t have to remind me.” Heeseung was conflicted as to how he could calm Sunoo down before they made the slide down to meet back up with the others but before he could figure out an appropriate response, Sunoo was already using both his hands to begin to push them both down the hill.

Heeseung inwardly sighed as he joined him, using his heels and hands to dig down into the snow to get them both started. The snow was deep but light and following the path already carved through by the two other sleds proved to make it easy to accumulate speed. When Heeseung felt that they had reached a similar speed to what he’d seen the others get to, he picked up his limbs and wrapped them back into the sled around Sunoo, prepared to shift his weight as needed in order to steer. However, it seemed like Sunoo had other ideas. The smaller boy continued to push them faster and faster with his hands alone, his legs being tangled up with Heeseung’s and the rope at the front of the sled. The wind began to whip unpleasantly at their face as the two boys sped into the treeline.

“Sunoo, stop!” Heeseung said, his voice getting lost in the wind flying past them. “Sunoo!” Heeseung yelled right next to Sunoo’s ear, but it seemed to only spur the younger boy to propel them downwards at an even faster speed. All this time they had been following the trail cut by the two previous sleds but as the land naturally curved, their sled did not follow the others and curve with it. Instead, the two of them were shot over a small outcropping and landed in a denser area of the forest, their sled reaching a frankly terrifying speed.

That was enough to get Sunoo to stop pushing them, his hands shrinking back into the sled as he curled himself into ball within Heeseung’s arms, a small cry of fear escaping him as their trajectory led them straight through a leafless bunch of underbrush.

“Watch out!” Heeseung shouted as he forced Sunoo’s head down so that his face wouldn’t get scratched. That of course meant that Heeseung wasn’t paying attention as frozen branches cut across his own cheek, a hiss of pain escaping him. Heeseung tried to take his legs out of the sled in order to try and slow them down but they were hopelessly tangled with Sunoo’s and the rope and he didn’t want to try and use his hands because he didn’t want to lose hold of Sunoo.

“Hyung!” Sunoo’s cry caused Heeseung to peer ahead and see that they were about to crash headlong into a thick grove of trees. They had been lucky thus far to narrowly miss most of them but there was no way they’d be that lucky this time.

Not giving himself any chance to think, Heeseung wrapped his arms around Sunoo as tightly as he could and threw his body sideways, causing the sled to begin to drift on its side towards the trees instead. Heeseung saw the tree coming up closer and closer behind him as he aimed his back to meet it, making sure that his body was in between Sunoo and the tree. Heeseung braced for the inevitable impact and closed his eyes.

With a resounding crash, Heeseung and the sled both crashed into the tree, Heeseung’s back slamming into the trunk so hard that the air escaped from his lungs on impact and he slumped to the snow-covered ground unmoving. Heeseung felt his eyes flutter closed for a few moments as his head swam in pain and shock, his ears filled with the sound of static as he lay there for what at once felt like a few seconds and a few hours trying to remember how to breathe.

He slowly came back to himself upon feeling his shoulders being desperately shaken, strands of wet hair that wasn’t his own brushing his forehead. The first thing he heard upon his hearing coming back to him was the sound of Sunoo’s panicked sobs right by his ear.

“Hyung! Heeseungie-hyung! Oh my god, oh my god,” the younger boy sobbed. Heeseung blinked his eyes slowly open to see Sunoo’s tear-stained face staring down at him only a few inches away, his hair wild and snow-covered, having apparently lost his hat at some point down the hill. Heeseung finally took a deep breath as he slowly sat up with a low groan, feeling his back protest in agony. He quickly turned to Sunoo and worriedly looked the crying boy up and down.

“You’re okay? You didn’t get hurt?” Heeseung’s voice sounded winded and strained as he reached for the other boy. Sunoo shook his head, unable to speak through his tears. Heeseung frowned and cupped his wet cheeks with his hands, turning the other’s face left and right, making sure that he was unscathed. Satisfied that Sunoo seemed unharmed, Heeseung instead softly thumbed away Sunoo’s tears even though the other boy continued to sniffle as he looked up at him.

“You’re bleeding,” Sunoo whispered, his breathing shaky as he lifted a hand to touch Heeseung’s cheek, Heeseung wincing at the contact, the whiplash from the branch beginning to turn into a dull ache. The blood must have already begun to congeal in the cold temperatures as Sunoo’s hand came away clean. Heeseung smiled slightly at him and shook his head, reaching up to brush the boy’s snow-covered hair away from where it was sticking to his forehead.

“I’ll be okay,” Heeseung reassured him. He slowly stood to his feet, Sunoo leaping up to help him. Heeseung winced at the movement, knowing that he’d probably be sore for the next two or three days. He made a movement to retrieve the sled from where it had slid away from them by a few feet but Sunoo beat him to it. Sunoo insisted Heeseung use him as a support as they made their way gingerly down the rest of the way towards the cabin.

“Why’d you do that?” Sunoo mumbled as they crunched through the snow-covered woods. Heeseung, who had been concentrating more on putting one foot in front of the other than anything else, looked over at Sunoo in surprise only to see the other boy quickly looking away. Heeseung smiled affectionately and ruffled the younger’s damp hair.

“I couldn’t let your face get scratched of course,” Heeseung said with a light tone. “An actor’s face is part of their career. A producer can make do with a few scars.” Sunoo frowned down at the snow.

“I’m sorry. That was really stupid of me.” Sunoo spoke quietly, his ears red from both the cold and embarrassment. “I just got really frustrated and didn’t want to yell at you back up at the top of the hill so I thought I could let it out that way. But you got hurt instead so I guess that just goes to show how much I know.” Sunoo’s tone was ashamed as he refused to make eye contact with Heeseung. Heeseung tightened his arm where it hung around Sunoo’s shoulders for support.

“I’m fine, Sunoo. Really. But next time, please just yell at me or hit me or whatever if you feel the need to let out your anger. Just… don’t ever do something that reckless ever again.” Sunoo nodded quickly. “Or,” Heeseung added with a small smile, “at least make sure I’m there to cushion your fall.” Sunoo’s cheeks flushed as he glared up at Heeseung, elbowing him in the side. Heeseung hissed, scrunching his eyes up in pain. Sunoo immediately stopped and touched his side gingerly, eyes wide with worry.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Hyung, are you okay?” Heeseung peeked an eye open to see Sunoo gazing up at him with worry and couldn’t hold back his giggles. Sunoo pouted in frustration. “Stop doing that! I’m actually worried about you and I’m really trying to make sure you get back to the cottage in one piece.” Heeseung winced in real pain when his smile got a bit too big, the scratch on his cheek making the one side of his face tender and sore. He successfully hid it from Sunoo though and instead pulled Sunoo back to his side and made him continue to guide him back towards the house.

They arrived back on the Park’s property to find all five boys milling around where they should have ended up had they not taken the scenic route. Their little detour had them emerging from the woods a couple hundred feet away.

“Hyung!” Jungwon called as he was the first one to see them approaching. He sprinted over, stopping just shy of them as he caught a look at Heeseung’s face and the way he was walking supported by Sunoo. Jungwon’s eyes flickered between Heeseung’s slightly pained expression and Sunoo’s slightly guilty one, his cat-eyes narrowing. “What happened? How did he get hurt?”

“I…” Sunoo began to speak but Heeseung tightened his hand around Sunoo’s shoulder in warning.

“It was my fault Jungwonie,” Heeseung explained as the others caught up to them. “I wanted to go faster than I should have, and we had a little run-in with some trees.” Jungwon looked up at him doubtfully, but Heeseung shook his head at his younger brother almost imperceptibly. Jungwon looked displeased but let it go as the others gathered around.

“I know you’re naturally good at pretty much everything you try, hyung,” Sunghoon said, looking Heeseung up and down as Sunoo began to lead Heeseung into the house, Jay running ahead to find the first-aid kit. “But you should really leave the winter sports to me, the winter expert.”

“You mean the ‘ice prince’?” Heeseung tossed over his shoulder, hearing Sunghoon snort in laughter at hearing the nickname he had been given during school by his female classmates. The boys quickly piled into the front entryway of the house, the warmth welcoming as they took off their heavy winter outerwear.

“Exactly! You have to know your strengths and stick with them sometimes.”

“You might be right,” Heeseung admitted as Sunoo pulled him insistently into the bathroom where Jay was waiting with some disinfectant and a Band-Aid which he let Sunoo take from him before the younger boy summarily evicted him from the bathroom.

“This is my house!” Jay called from the other side of the door but Sunoo completely ignored him as he quickly grabbed a washcloth from under the sink, wet it, and began to clean Heeseung’s cut. Heeseung stared at his own reflection in the mirror as Sunoo got to work; his cheeks and ears were bright red from the cold and his black hair was even wavier than normal from how damp it was because of the snow. The cut across his cheeks wasn’t especially deep but it was long enough to look scary.

“This will sting,” Sunoo quietly warned Heeseung before gingerly applying the disinfectant. Heeseung let a hiss escape his lips as the cut stung a little but the pain only lasted for the briefest of seconds. Heeseung glanced down, suddenly noticing how close Sunoo was standing to him. The smaller boy was staring at his injury with intense concentration, his lips a thin line as he focused. Sunoo’s ears and cheeks were even redder than Heeseung’s. The older boy watched carefully as a drop of water from his damp hair fell from just in front of his ear and down his cheek. Heeseung reached up to wipe it away before it could get to his neck, his fingers lingering on Sunoo’s cold cheek for a moment. Sunoo looked up at him in surprise, his hands that had been about to apply the bandage freezing.

“You need to dry your hair,” Heeseung quickly said, clearing his throat and reaching for an extra hand towel that was lying neatly folded on the spacious sink. Heeseung carefully draped it over Sunoo’s head and rubbed it across his hair a little bit so that Sunoo got the idea. “Otherwise you’ll catch a cold.” Heeseung glanced away as Sunoo huffed out a little laugh and quickly stuck the bandage on Heeseung’s cheek before taking a step back.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not actually true,” Sunoo said. “If it is, I think you need it more than I do.” With that, Sunoo pulled the towel from his head and tossed it up onto Heeseung’s head and began pulling at the ends back-and-forth so that Heeseung’s hair got even more wild than it already was. Heeseung giggled and backed up towards the door, yanking the towel off of his headand using it to pull Sunoo towards him. He put his height into use by ruffling the younger boy’s hair with the towel, Sunoo’s loud cackles reverberating in the small bathroom, his tears from not too long ago completely forgotten.

Heeseung was suddenly pushed from behind by someone opening the door, yelping as the door banged into his back. He doubled over, wincing as he turned to see Jungwon walk in, frowning as he took in the scene. Without saying anything, Jungwon reached over to pull the back of Heeseung’s shirt up, exposing his back. Heeseung craned his neck around but was relieved to see that his back was only red and didn’t seem to be bleeding.

“It’ll probably just bruise,” Heeseung said as Jungwon let his shirt fall back down. Sunoo watched silently, his fingers playing with the towel still in his hands. Jungwon let his eyes shift between the both of them for a few moments before stepping back out of the bathroom.

“Jay-hyung made hot chocolate. Let’s go if you’re done.” Heeseung and Sunoo exchanged a glance as Jungwon left, Heeseung smiling reassuringly at Sunoo which Sunoo slowly returned, the two of them making their way out of the bathroom to rejoin their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sunoo is the self-appointed crybaby of en- and i respect him for that
> 
> also wonki are the cutest im so soft for them constantly
> 
> only a few days left to [vote](https://twitter.com/enhypenvotecrew/status/1337690753619804161?s=20) for en- on sma!!


	3. Chapter 3

After the incident the first morning that he honestly only vaguely remembered, Heeseung woke up the next few mornings to an empty bed. This on its own was not uncommon as Heeseung was notorious for sleeping in. However, Heeseung would always find that he would wake up with one hand stretched out towards the side of the bed that Sunoo had claimed, open as if waiting for another hand to meet it halfway. Heeseung continued to refuse to put a name to what that might mean although he figured deep down that he wouldn’t be able to simply ignore it for much longer.

The next couple of days are spent quietly as Heeseung slowly recovered from his encounter with the trees. He could barely stand up straight the day afterwards and spent the entire day lounging on the couch in the living room, everyone else letting him put whatever he wanted on the TV. Sunoo kept him supplied with snacks more out of guilt than any worry he might have as his fake boyfriend but Heeseung wasn’t complaining. He loved to be babied and if getting slammed into a tree allowed him to be spoiled for a few days? Well, there were worse things that could happen.

The morning of the twenty-eighth dawned especially cold, a severe windchill warning for the area keeping them all inside for another day even though Heeseung was starting to feel better. Heeseung spent the morning curled up in Jay’s basement game room with Riki, the two of them going head-to-head in the new FIFA game. They were both very competitive people so needless to say their epic battles got incredibly loud which was why they were always relegated to the basement whenever they wanted to play with each other.

Heeseung collapsed back on the couch with a yell as Riki beat him in their latest game, curling up in a ball with a little wail but hiding a smile as Riki jumped up and down with excitement in front of the TV. Their maknae’s joy whenever he won was so adorable that Heeseung couldn’t even pretend to get upset at him. Heeseung checked the time on his phone as Riki flopped down beside him.

“It’s almost lunchtime,” Heeseung noted, surprised at how long they’d been down there. Although, for being the group’s resident gaming addicts he supposed it wasn’t entirely unexpected. “We should head back up.” Heeseung was stopped from getting off the couch by Riki tugging back on his sleeve. Heeseung glanced down to see Riki staring up at him, his expression suddenly very serious. “What is it?” Heeseung slowly sat back down beside the high schooler.

“It’s about Sunoo-hyung,” Riki said, looking down at his hand which continued to play with Heeseung’s sleeve. Heeseung blinked in surprise. Riki hadn’t approached him at all to talk about this situation even though he was the only other outside person that knew what was really going on besides Jungwon. Riki kept his eyes downcast, obviously looking for the right words to say. Heeseung smiled softly and gently patted Riki’s hair.

“It’s okay, you can say anything to me Riki.” Riki looked back up at Heeseung, his expression more serious than he’d ever seen it. Heeseung realized with a start how much he’d grown in the last few months alone.

“It’s just… Jungwon-hyung is worried about you.” Riki’s voice was quiet but earnest.

Heeseung sighed. “Jungwon thinks too much for his own good sometimes. I’m really – “

“I’m worried about you, too,” Riki interrupted, his hand tugging on Heeseung’s sleeve as if to accentuate his point. Heeseung glanced away at the genuine concern in Riki’s eyes, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest.

“Why are you both only worried about me?” Heeseung tried to make his words sound light. “Why not Sunoo?” Riki made a dismissive noise in the back of his throat, flapping his hand as if to shoo the thought away.

“Sunoo-hyung is dumb,” Riki said firmly. “I don’t even think he knows what he wants anymore. You’ve been with him long enough to know that he’s been tiptoeing around his crush on Sunghoon-hyung ever since they started high school but he’s only now trying to do something about it.” Riki snorted softly. “It doesn’t even seem like he’s trying that hard either. I really don’t know what he’s thinking letting Sunghoon-hyung just be waltzed away like that.” Heeseung flicked the younger boy on the forehead.

“Don’t talk about your hyung like that,” Heeseung gently reprimanded him, even as his thoughts swirled around what Riki said. It was safe to assume that Jungwon and Riki had had multiple talks about them in private and Heeseung was at once upset and very curious as to what they had said. “So… unlike Sunoo, you think you know what I want?” His question was hesitant, almost as if he himself was asking Riki to tell him the answer.

Riki shook his head, giving Heeseung’s hand a squeeze before pulling back and getting to his feet. “I can’t tell you what you feel. That’s something you have to figure out yourself. Just…” Riki’s eyes gazed seriously down at Heeseung. “Please try not to get hurt. And be patient with Sunoo-hyung. He’s even more of a mess than you are I think.” Heeseung swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat as he followed Riki back upstairs to where Jay and Jake had collaborated to make lunch. Heeseung kept his mind solely on his food, pushing his conversation with Riki to the back of his mind to be pondered over later.

It was both comforting and disconcerting to think about how easily Jungwon and Riki seemed to see through this whole situation. Heeseung was pretty sure that this was the kind of mess that could only be clearly seen by third parties looking in from the outside. What he wouldn’t give to know what was going through Sunoo’s mind as he laughed gleefully when Sunghoon got a stain on his shirt during lunch and also what he thought when he turned to beam up at Heeseung when the older cracked a joke that had the whole table collapsed in laughter. What he wouldn’t give to know what he himself wanted and how far he would be able to go in order to get it. _Not very far,_ he knew as he once again caught himself gazing at Sunoo’s side-profile, the younger’s eyes shining at someone that wasn’t him.

After lunch, Sunghoon proudly announced that he was going to make chocolate chip cookies that afternoon. Everyone was quick to wish him luck as they all dispersed to have a post-lunch rest. Everyone, that is, except for Sunoo, who volunteered to help, and Heeseung, who lurked in the kitchen generally being a nuisance.

Heeseung was a foodie much like Sunoo but unlike Sunoo, Heeseung was very single-minded in his love for eating. Small things like preparing or cleaning up easily slipped his mind whenever he was around food, so he quickly became the bane of any kitchen he entered.

Today was no exception as Heeseung lurked by the island in the middle of the spacious kitchen, watching Sunghoon closely as he mixed the batter together. Sunoo was off to the side, cleaning the measuring utensils as they were being used but he kept glancing over at Heeseung with a smile that slowly spread across his face as he realized what Heeseung was trying to do.

As soon as Sunghoon stepped away to crouch down and look for a cookie tray in one of the bottom drawers a few feet away, Heeseung slinked to the abandoned batter and quickly grabbed the spoon that Sunghoon had been using to mix, sticking the whole thing in his mouth. Sunoo burst into a fit of giggles, raising a wet hand to his mouth as Heeseung winked at him before swiftly ducking away from Sunghoon’s hand as he tried to pry the spoon away from him. Heeseung ran to the other side of the island, a cheeky grin on his face as he slowly licked the spoon in front of Sunghoon, drinking in the sight of the fond exasperation on his face. So excited was he that he didn’t notice Sunoo’s ears turning red as he watched him make short work of the batter stuck to the spoon, the youngest blinking and turning back to the sink, the spoon he’d been holding escaping from his slippery hands to land back in the soapy water with a clatter.

“Hyung!” Sunghoon easily vaulted over the counter and grabbed the spoon from Heeseung’s hands, poking him in the chest, forcing him to take a step backwards. “You can’t just eat raw batter like that! How old are you?”

“It tastes good though,” Heeseung whined, shooting a gleeful look over at Sunoo, his expression falling when he noticed that Sunoo wasn’t paying attention anymore.

“It’ll taste just as good when it’s done baking. Get out if you’re not helping.” With that, Heeseung was swiftly evicted from the kitchen. He paused in the doorway, looking back to see Sunghoon poke Sunoo in the side to tell him to turn the oven on if he was done staring at the now-empty sink. Sunoo’s ears couldn’t turn any redder than they already were and Heeseung quickly left before the little monster that had been slowly growing in his chest could wake up.

Heeseung headed down to the basement to grab the old acoustic guitar he’d noticed down there the other day and brought it upstairs to the living room. Jay was reclining on a couch, engrossed in a book about some random topic that Heeseung was sure he would bring up in casual conversation months down the road. A fire crackled comfortingly in the fireplace as Heeseung sat down on a loveseat that sat near the one huge window that looked out onto the snowy backyard and the forest beyond it.

Heeseung gently strummed a chord, wincing a bit as the guitar was horribly out of tune.

“I think I have the tuner downstairs somewhere if you want me to grab it?” Jay offered, glancing up from his book. Heeseung shook his head.

“I’m okay.” Heeseung softly began to tune the instrument by ear. His perfect pitch made short work of the task and soon Heeseung was quietly plucking tunes, letting his mind wander. Over the winter break he was supposed to have composed a melody for his composition class, but he’d had multiple ones already made on the back burner that he was planning to use. He mentally went over which one he thought would work the best for the class and began to play it by memory on the guitar, working out a few kinks and making mental notes of any changes he made that he’d write down and add on when he got back home.

A half-hour or so later, the scent of cookies began to fill the house, adding to the warm and cozy atmosphere. Riki came in and sat on the side of the couch that Jay wasn’t sprawled over and pulled out his phone, the three boys sitting in a comfortable silence broken only by Heeseung’s playing. The late afternoon sun streamed in through the windows, bathing Heeseung in a soft glow as he allowed himself to temporarily focus on nothing but music.

He was brought out of his thoughts not too long afterwards by Sunoo padding slowly into the living room, glancing around at the three boys before walking over to Heeseung and curling up beside him on the loveseat. Heeseung glanced at him, noting the way his eyebrows were drawn together and the small pout on his face.

“I thought you were helping Sunghoon,” he quietly commented, fingers continuing to play the gentle melody he was working on. Sunoo silently shook his head a little, seemingly determined to stay beside him. Heeseung turned back to the guitar but his train of thought had already been disrupted by how sad Sunoo looked. About fifteen minutes later the answer to his mood appeared in the doorway of the living room.

“Oh, there you are, Sunoo,” Jake said, his voice straddling an interesting line between too loud for the still living room and yet gentle enough not to disturb the atmosphere. “Sunghoon and I were wondering where you disappeared to. We still had another batch of cookies to make.” Realization dawned on Heeseung then and his stomach dropped in disappointment at the fact that Sunoo hadn’t come to sit with him simply because he’d wanted to. Heeseung felt Sunoo stiffen beside him.

“I got sleepy suddenly,” Sunoo explained, his voice bright but Heeseung could see the way his fingers were clenched together in his lap. “There were already enough cooks in the kitchen.”

“Ah, yeah you look super comfortable,” Jake said with a laugh, giving them both a meaningful look that had Heeseung staring steadfastly at the guitar strings. “Well, Sunghoonie wanted me to tell everyone that the cookies are done so if you want one you can go help yourselves.” Jay and Riki immediately jumped up from the couch, wrestling with each other to be the first one out the door, pushing poor Jake out of the room with them. Their shouts echoed back at them as Heeseung and Sunoo remained still on the loveseat.

Heeseung paused in his playing, looking over at Sunoo who was gazing out the window at the now setting sun. “Do you want to go?” Sunoo looked over at him and Heeseung’s breath caught in his throat at how the sun framed Sunoo’s silhouette behind him, setting strands of his shiny black hair ablaze. Sunoo looked up at him for a few moments before shaking his head slightly and pressing closer to Heeseung, laying his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes.

“Maybe later. I really am kind of sleepy.” Heeseung swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as Sunoo rested his full weight on him. He sat immobile for a few moments until Sunoo poked his side. “Keep playing,” the younger softly said. “It was pretty.”

Heeseung cleared his throat and obediently began playing again. His thoughts as golden hour descended upon them were no longer just about music though and more about the boy that was curled up at his side.

That night, Heeseung and Sunoo lay quietly in the dark. There was just enough light coming from the digital clock on the bedside table that Heeseung could see that Sunoo was lying on his back and playing with Sun, his hands slowly petting the soft fake fur. The sight was a bit too much for Heeseung to handle so he instead stared up at the dark ceiling, letting his eyes lose their focus.

“… Sunoo.” Heeseung said the other boy’s name quietly into the dark.

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay?” Heeseung felt movement on the bed as he sensed Sunoo turning his head to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… you seemed a little sad today.” Sunoo didn’t answer him and Heeseung was too on edge to look over at him. “You… aren’t having second thoughts, are you?” Heeseung held his breath after asking the question, honestly not sure what answer he was hoping Sunoo would give. The conversation he’d had with Riki earlier in the day had replayed over and over in his mind. _What did Sunoo want?_ That was something that Heeseung wanted to know as well.

Sunoo didn’t answer immediately and Heeseung began to think that he just wouldn’t give him one but then a quiet “…No” came from beside him. Heeseung suppressed the twinge in his chest as his lungs stuttered on the breath he’d just taken. Of course, his answer would be unchanged. Heeseung hadn’t truly been expecting an answer any different, that’d be ridiculous. He pressed onwards regardless of his own feelings, needing to hear for himself where Sunoo’s thoughts were at.

“It’s just that you’re not approaching this whole thing as confidently as I thought you would be. It seems like you’ve been caving in a lot more than I was expecting for certain things.” Heeseung was impressed with how even his tone was and was grateful that it was dark enough that Sunoo couldn’t see his expression right now. Jungwon always told him that his eyes gave away literally every emotion that passed through him. Sunoo sighed quietly from beside him.

“He doesn’t seem to be jealous at all, hyung,” Sunoo said, the words coming out in a rush, frustration apparent in his tone. “I didn’t think it would be like this. And now that he’s met Jake-hung… I don’t know. It kind of seems like he might be starting to really like him.” Sunoo sounded so conflicted that Heeseung felt his own heart clench in pain.

“Are we maybe not laying it on thick enough?” Heeseung slowly asked. He could feel Sunoo’s eyes looking at him even as he steadfastly gazed upwards. “Should we act even more?”

“What do you mean?” Sunoo’s question was careful and quiet.

“I mean, this is the reason why we’re tricking them, right? Wasn’t it always about trying to make Sunghoon-ah jealous and come after you?” The words tasted slightly of bitterness as he said them, but he tried to cover it up as much as he could. Sunoo quietly tugged at the collar around Sun’s neck, his thumb playing with the nametag aimlessly.

“It was,” the younger boy admitted, the words coming out in a near-whisper. Heeseung squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push through how difficult this unexpectedly was.

Heeseung finally chanced a look over at Sunoo, watching as he continued to hold Sun close to his chest. “Maybe we should find some way to double-down on our acting then?” Sunoo looked over at that moment, their eyes meeting in the dark.

“If you think it’s a good idea, hyung. Sure.” Heeseung lay in the dark long after Sunoo fell asleep, wishing he could admit to the younger boy that he wasn’t sure of anything anymore and that it terrified him.

The next day the cold snap ended, and the weather was clear, sunny and cold but not unbearably freezing.

It was one of those odd mornings where Jay refused to wake up no matter how much Jungwon and Heeseung tried to shake him so Sunghoon suggested they all go on a long walk down some trails in the forest that he remembered from the last time he’d been there.

The six boys bundled up in scarfs, jackets, mittens and hats and tumbled out into the snow, breathing in the sharp crispness of the winter morning air. Heeseung and Sunoo walked beside each other as they followed behind Sunghoon to where the trail started a few hundred feet away from the house. Sunoo lifted his face to the sun, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath.

“Did you ever realize that in the winter the air tastes like mint?” He asked, glancing over at Heeseung with bright eyes. Heeseung snorted and quickly reached out a hand to grab Sunoo’s, pulling the boy closer to him as he noticed him about to trip over a protruding root. Sunoo didn’t make any move to escape his grasp so Heeseung continued to hold it as they made their way up the trail.

“That’s just because it’s cold out and the air freezes the inside of your nose, Sunoo,” Heeseung said with a laugh, his heart melting as Sunoo stuck his tongue out at him cutely as he they walked hand-in-hand beside each other. Jake, Jungwon and Riki were talking quietly a few feet behind them as they all followed Sunghoon up the trailhead, the path between the trees becoming more apparent as they went on even though the snow that covered it was untouched.

Satisfied that they had found the trail that he had remembered, Sunghoon let himself fall back to walk on the other side of Sunoo, the three of them now walking alongside each other as the other three fell further behind, Riki and Jake getting into a heated debate about a soccer game they had watched the night before, Jungwon playing the tired but endeared mediator.

Heeseung kept a tight grip on Sunoo’s hand as he noticed Sunoo lower his eyes as Sunghoon joined them, the younger boy stepping an inch closer to Heeseung’s side.

The silence that fell between the three of them suddenly felt awkward and it made Heeseung uncomfortable. As a trio, they never ever ran out of things to talk about. Once they got going, they could go on forever. Heeseung and Sunghoon loved to poke fun at Sunoo and laughed at how easy he was to tease and Sunoo had always loved to give back as much as he got. That was always their dynamic growing up and it was comfortable. Now there was something new that was between the three of them that made Heeseung momentarily mourn their childhood.

Sunoo kept his eyes trained on the ground in front of him, watching out for more roots. Heeseung on the other hand found himself continuing to glance over at Sunghoon and realized that Sunghoon himself was looking over at the both of them a lot as well, an unreadable look in his eyes as his gaze sometimes dropped to Heeseung and Sunoo’s joined hands swinging between them.

“I feel like I shouldn’t be here,” Sunghoon suddenly said with a little laugh, breaking the silence that had accumulated between them. Heeseung looked at Sunghoon steadily, Sunghoon gazing back at him even as Sunoo glanced up quickly, turning to Sunghoon with wide eyes.

“What do you mean?” Sunoo quickly asked. Sunghoon chuckled ruefully, reaching up to fix his scarf more securely around his own neck.

“I feel like a third wheel all of a sudden.” The admission made Heeseung’s heart skip a single, terrifying beat even as Heeseung felt Sunoo’s hand slip from his grasp as Sunoo reached up to hold onto Sunghoon’s arm. The cold winter air immediately felt a thousand times more frigid at the loss of contact.

“That could never be true, hyung,” Sunoo insisted, holding onto Sunghoon’s arm tightly as they continued to walk up the trail. Sunghoon shrugged, pulling his arm gently from Sunoo’s grasp and patting him gently on the head, steering the younger away from a rock peaking out of the snow.

“It’s just that the three of us have always had a lot of fun together ever since we were little,” Sunghoon explained, Heeseung nodding a little in cautious agreement. “Suddenly two of you are dating…” Sunghoon smiled then down at Sunoo who stared back up at him with wide eyes. “Is it weird to say that I feel left out?” Sunghoon laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked over at Heeseung. “Probably, right?”

Heeseung wasn’t watching him though. He was watching the way Sunoo smiled and blushed, his gaze dropping back to his boots as his hands clenched into tiny happy fists within his gloves. For the first time, Heeseung gave a name to the jealousy he now knew was filling him and it almost took his breath away with how strongly he felt it fill him.

Their walk lasted for another hour or so before they make it back to the house, half-frozen but all of them looking more energetic because of the fresh air even if Heeseung felt miserable inside.

They stepped into the warm foyer and were greeted by the smell of something delicious filling the entire house.

“I made lunch!” Jay called from the direction of the kitchen. Heeseung only then realized how hungry he was and was determined to drown his sorrows in food before they had a chance to drown him. He quickly threw his winter clothes over the banister and raced into the kitchen, Sunoo following a few steps behind him, yanking on the back of Heeseung’s sweater with a giggle as he tried to keep up.

The two of them skidded to a stop at the kitchen counter where a pot of hot jjamppong was sitting. Heeseung lifted the cover, letting the spiciness clear up his runny nose from being outside as his stomach growled eagerly. Sunoo was right at his side doing the same, both of them being the spicy-food enthusiasts of the group.

They were interrupted by Jay’s sudden cackles from where he had walked up beside them. They both glanced at him with matching frowns on their faces to which Jay only responded to by pointing upwards, a shit-eating grin on his face. Heeseung raised his eyes to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling right above where the food was. He felt the colour drain from his face as their other four friends entered the kitchen to find Jay laughing maniacally at Heeseung and Sunoo, the latter of which was sporting a bright blush enhanced by having just come from outside.

“I can’t believe that actually worked!” Jay was almost crying from laughter, bending over the counter for support. “You’re both so predictable, a literal match made in heaven. I cannot believe this!” Heeseung took a step away from the counter as he looked down at Sunoo who was staring at him already, eyes wide in shock. Heeseung glanced over to their audience. Jake was chuckling along with Jay while Jungwon and Riki looked extremely uneasy but were trying to hold onto slight smiles. Sunghoon was only looking at them both thoughtfully, his eyebrows raised as if wondering what they were waiting for.

Heeseung redirected his attention to Sunoo whose face was completely flushed as he kept looking over at their friends, specifically Sunghoon, as if trying to decipher their reactions. Heeseung stared down at him, thinking about what they had talked about the night before.

As Heeseung was about to just give Sunoo a quick kiss on the cheek in order to make Jay stop laughing like a hyena, Sunoo suddenly turned to stare up at him, his eyes very determined. In one swift motion, Sunoo reached up to grab Heeseung’s face and stood up on his tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss right on his lips. It only lasted maybe a second, but it was one of the longest seconds of Heeseung’s life. His eyes went wide as Sunoo slowly lowered himself back down, Sunoo’s own eyes just as wide as he stared up at Heeseung. He looked so surprised that Heeseung wondered if he was the one that had been suddenly kissed instead. Heeseung’s chest filled with a swirling mess of emotions as he stared into Sunoo’s bright fox-eyes, watching as the younger boy blinked rapidly before stepping away, hands reaching up to cover his face in embarrassment before racing out of the kitchen, leaving Heeseung to stare at the spot where he’d just been, one hand stretched out as if to try and stop him from leaving.

Heeseung blinked as he suddenly became aware of Jay leaning on his shoulders, laughs still bubbling out of him as he reached up to touch one of Heeseung’s ears.

“Please, hyung,” Jay wheezed, Jake and Sunghoon watching in amusement as Riki slowly slipped from the room, probably to go track Sunoo down. Jungwon was the only one who remained unmoving as he watched Heeseung seriously from the other side of the kitchen. “I’ve _never_ seen you blush this much before at anything. You must really like our little Sunoo, please this is so cute.” Heeseung finally drew in what felt like his first breath since Sunoo had kissed him and laughed quietly.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice whisper-quiet under Jay’s laughter. “Yeah I guess I really must.” The admission fell from his own lips for the first time and Heeseung was struck by a sense of both a weight being lifted from him as another, heavier one took its place. He felt Jungwon’s eyes on him as he slowly walked to the dining room, sliding into a seat at the table and staring down at the placemat before him.

Sunoo and Riki walked in not too long after Jay had brought the soup to the table, Riki nudging Sunoo towards Heeseung’s side. The younger boy bashfully made his way to the seat beside Heeseung, flinching under the knowing smiles of Jay, Sunghoon and Jake as he slid into the seat beside his fake boyfriend. His presence beside him immediately filled Heeseung with the sensation that he was sitting beside a live wire, his entire body radiating with energy.

The rest of the day passed like this. Sunoo stuck near to him but always at an arms-length away and always avoiding eye contact when he could. Heeseung figured it was because he was embarrassed and didn’t want to make Heeseung uncomfortable, but frankly Heeseung would have preferred it if Sunoo had pretended that nothing had happened. But something did happen and there was no way around it.

“Hyung…” Sunoo quietly started as they entered their room at the end of the night, the first words he’d directly spoken to Heeseung since lunch. Heeseung paused in the middle of his beeline to the bathroom, turning to face Sunoo apprehensively. Sunoo was looking at him seriously from across the room, his eyes scanning Heeseung’s face. “About earlier… I just wanted to say sorry.” Heeseung swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, blinking in surprise as he tried his best to make his expression light and unbothered.

“It was really nothing, Sunoo. You don’t need to apologize.” Heeseung felt his heart begin to ache at the unconvinced expression on Sunoo’s face and in his desperate need to reassure him, Heeseung crossed the wide gulf between them to give Sunoo a tight hug. Sunoo leaned into him, one hand lifting to gingerly hold onto his shirt as he rested his forehead against Heeseung’s shoulder as Heeseung gently patted his hair. “We talked last night about needing to take our acting up a notch and Jay accidentally gave us a perfect opportunity.” Heeseung could trust his voice more than he could trust his facial expressions at that moment so he continued to hold Sunoo close to him.

“I still should have asked you first,” Sunoo mumbled, his voice muffled against Heeseung’s shirt. “The last thing I want is for us to get weird or for our relationship to suffer because I asked you for a favour.” The pain and apprehension in Sunoo’s voice was real and Heeseung was terrified to feel tears pricking hot behind his eyes, tears that were swiftly blinked away by sheer force of will.

“You could ask me to walk over a sea of fire or a bed of nails and I would do it,” Heeseung said with a small laugh, pushing Sunoo away slightly so he could smile softly down at him, trying not to break down at the look Sunoo was giving him. Heeseung knew that what he was saying would probably give him away but the last thing he wanted Sunoo to think was that there was even the slightest chance that Heeseung would no longer want to be a part of his life. “A kiss? That’s nothing big.” It was, though. It was big and Sunoo knew it but Heeseung knew he wouldn’t argue with him. Sunoo instead gave him a small smile and nodded, pulling back and squeezing Heeseung’s arm before turning to start his own evening routine, letting Heeseung finally escape into the bathroom.

When they turned off the light a little later, Heeseung, for the first time since all of this had begun, wished he hadn’t said yes to Sunoo that day at the café. Or that he had instead told Sunoo how he had felt if he had realized it sooner and didn’t just always dismiss it as the same type of affection he had for all his younger friends. Because now… now, Heeseung could admit it to himself. He was in love with Kim Sunoo and probably had been for a long time now. He couldn’t say exactly when his feelings of childhood friendship had shifted into something else for him and him alone but he knew that he would probably live to regret what he was doing right now, and that he would probably be the only one hurt in the process.

Heeseung had trouble falling asleep that night as he lay there quietly in the dark, listening to the sound of Sunoo’s breaths that seemed to at once come from right beside him and also from across a chasm that might as well be thousands of feet wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drama! feelings! we're getting there!
> 
> i'd just like to say thanks to everyone who's left kudos and especially those who also left comments. while it's true that i'd already had everything written when i began posting, the comments have really motivated me to go through the coming chapters as i edited them and add a lot just to beef things up a little bit, so thank you!
> 
> pls [vote](https://twitter.com/enhypenvotecrew/status/1337690753619804161?s=20) on sma as there's only a few days left!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day was the thirtieth, the day before New Year’s Eve. It was also the day before the day Sunoo said he’d tell Sunghoon about how he felt but Heeseung refused to think about that. That of course meant that he was instead thinking about it constantly as the group split up into two cars and made their way to a ski hill almost an hour away from the cottage where they planned to spend the whole day. From the beginning of the day Sunoo had been stuck to Sunghoon’s side like glue, Heeseung carefully avoiding looking over at them as Sunoo followed Sunghoon into the car he would be driving and instead turning to sit in Jay’s car. He did it so quickly that he missed the way Sunoo glanced over his shoulder to see Heeseung walking to the other car and the upset expression that crossed his face.

Heeseung was joined by Jake and Jungwon in Jay’s car, Riki choosing to ride with Sunoo and Sunghoon. The drive up was spent by recounting stories of the few times Jay, Jungwon and Heeseung had been skiing over the years; sometimes on school trips, other times with their families.

“Honestly,” Jake bashfully interjected after the three other boys stopped laughing over remembering how Jay, the first time he’d tried snowboarding, had wiped out right after getting off the ski-lift at the very top of the hill when they were younger, “I’ve never been skiing. I have no idea what I’m doing.” That wasn’t very surprising as Jake had said before that he’d never been around snow much before moving to Korea. What was surprising was what he said after that. “Do… you think you could teach me, Heeseung-hyung?”

Heeseung turned around from where he sat in the passenger seat and looked back at Jake in surprise. “You want me to help you?” Jake nodded, a small smile crossing his lips.

“Everyone keeps saying that you’re good at everything, so I bet you’re really good at skiing too. Am I wrong?” He asked, shooting a glance over at Jungwon who shook his head.

“Nope, Heeseungie-hyung is really good at skiing. I’m sure he’d be glad to teach you.” Jungwon raised an eyebrow in Heeseung’s direction as Heeseung smiled slightly in response.

“Of course, I’d be glad to help you out.” Heeseung turned back around in his seat as Jay pulled into the parking lot of the ski lodge. “I’m surprised Sunghoon didn’t offer to help you, seeing as he’d named himself the winter sports expert.”

“He said he was going to go cross-country skiing with Sunoo around the trails this morning,” Jake explained, his voice nonchalant but as Heeseung glanced back once more he could see his eyes were downcast. Heeseung’s own chest felt stuffy but he nodded.

“Right, Sunoo mentioned that.” _He definitely didn’t._ The four boys piled out of the car as Sunghoon pulled up beside them, the other three quick to join them. Heeseung watched as Sunoo made his way over to his side, his breath catching in his throat as he reached up to put a hand on his arm.

“Do you want to go cross-country skiing with Sunghoon-hyung and I?” Heeseung’s eyes narrowed in confusion as to why on earth Sunoo would be asking him this but Sunoo just stared up at him, his expression utterly unreadable. Heeseung shook his head, patting Sunoo’s head.

“I told Jake I’d teach him how to ski this morning. Have fun though, be careful,” he added, addressing Sunghoon with a pointed look. Sunghoon had been hanging back, listening to them and was now staring at Jake who was steadfastly making eye contact with anything but him. Sunoo also glanced over at Jake before nodding and taking a step back.

“Alright,” Jungwon interjected with a clap. “We’ll meet back at the lodge for lunch at noon.” With that, the seven boys dispersed: Jake and Heeseung heading towards the bunny hills for beginners, Jay and Riki heading for the snowboarding rentals while Sunoo and Sunghoon headed off for the cross-country trails. Heeseung walked beside Jake towards the ski rentals, his head dwelling on the image of Sunoo and Sunghoon walking off together, when his thoughts got interrupted by Jungwon pouncing onto his arm. Heeseung jumped in shock as Jake let out a surprised yell, flinching away from the loud noise.

“Jungwon oh my god you scared me!” Heeseung cried, putting a hand over his heart as Jungwon clung to Heeseung’s arm resolutely. “I thought you’d go with Jay and Riki.”

“I’m going to go with you and Jake-hyung.” Jungwon’s tone was serious and Heeseung knew that there was no way to change Jungwon’s mind once he got like that. Heeseung let out a longsuffering sigh and threw his arms around the two shorter boys’ shoulders, pulling them along with him to the ski rentals.

The three of them spent a quiet but fun morning together, Heeseung teaching Jake from the very basics. Jake was an extremely fast learner and it wasn’t long before he was able to glide down the beginner hills with no trouble at all.

Jungwon stuck close by Heeseung’s side the entire time and Heeseung knew that it wasn’t because he wanted skiing lessons as well. Heeseung kept glancing at his younger brother every now and then, wondering when the other would finally have all his thoughts organized in his head so that he could spit it out and be done with it already.

“Hyung.” The awaited moment finally arrived about fifteen minutes before they planned on meeting everyone back at the lodge for lunch. Heeseung and Jungwon had just sent Jake on a more difficult beginner’s course and were watching him slowly make his way down the hill. Heeseung smiled affectionately at his younger brother, nodding for him to continue. “Are you okay?” Heeseung huffed out a laugh, his breath emanating as clouds in the cold air.

“Physically? I’m fine. Emotionally and mentally? There’s where things start to fall apart a little, Wonie.” Jungwon grabbed Heeseung’s gloved hand with his own and squeezed it tight.

“You should really tell Sunoo-hyung how you feel.” Heeseung closed his eyes once Jake got to the bottom of the hill, raising his hands victoriously before wind milling them wildly as he almost fell over.

“I was the one who agreed to fake date him.” Heeseung’s voice was tired even to his own ears. He’d spent most of the previous night lying awake next to the person in question and running many different scenarios over and over in his own mind. “It would be too shitty of me to try and dump my feelings onto him right now when he’s been trying so hard to get Sunghoon to notice him.” The sigh from Jungwon that followed this was impatient.

“I thought Riki talked to you a few days ago. Sunoo-hyung himself is confused about what he wants. He’s probably the one that is seeing things the least clearly now out of everyone and that’s saying something when a whole Jay-hyung exists.” Heeseung chuckled at that, but still shook his head.

“Even though that may be the case, this isn’t something that I’d want someone to spell out to Sunoo for him. I really want whatever happens at the end of all this to be what he truly wishes. That probably won’t include me staying beside him like this, but he doesn’t owe me anything when it was my fault for falling in love with him in the first place.” Jungwon clung quietly to Heeseung’s arm, laying a head on his shoulder as they stood on the edge of the hill, watching as Jake waved up to them before being bowled over by Jay and Riki who had run up beside him, snowboards in hand.

“I told you not to let yourself get hurt at the very beginning.” Jungwon’s voice was somehow even more sad than Heeseung currently felt and he immediately felt bad for causing Jungwon any form of worry.

“You can’t stop me from getting hurt all the time.” Heeseung lifted a finger to poke Jungwon’s cheek where his dimple would appear whenever he smiled. “Just like I could never stop you from getting hurt when we played as kids. I’ll be okay, I promise. If not now, then one day. Please don’t be so sad on my account. Seeing you smile is much more healing than literally anything else.” Jungwon rolled his eyes in exasperation but obligingly cracked a grin, his dimples popping into view. Heeseung grinned back at him before taking a step towards the edge of the hill. “Race you to the bottom?” With that the two brothers zoomed down the hill, probably going much faster than the small beginner’s hill was intended for. They both skidded to a stop a few feet away from their friends, sending up a wave of snow, Heeseung pulling in a little bit before Jungwon.

Heeseung raised his arms in victory as Sunoo and Sunghoon also caught up with the others, cross-country skis tucked under their arms. They all made their way into the lodge for lunch, Sunoo stepping up behind Heeseung in the lineup and pulling on the back of his jacket. Heeseung flashed a smile back at him, his hand automatically reaching out to fix a piece of Sunoo’s hair that stuck up from being under a hat for a few hours. It was only as he pulled back that he remembered that they were still being weird around each other as Sunoo dropped his gaze in embarrassment, Heeseung’s mind flying back to yesterday’s kiss.

Heeseung cleared his throat as they made their way through the lodge’s cafeteria, spooning different foods onto their plates.

“Did you have fun with Sunghoon?” Sunoo nodded, eyes fixed on the rice he was carefully spooning into a bowl.

“Cross-country skiing is fun, it’s really good exercise. I should do it more often.” Heeseung hummed thoughtfully as they moved towards the basins of soup.

“I wonder if there are any trails back home that would work.”

“We can check and go together one day maybe?” Sunoo’s voice was hesitant as he asked the question, so Heeseung did his best to make sure that his smile was reassuring as he nodded back in response. The two of them got into the checkout line together, plates piled high with warm food. “How was teaching Jake-hyung how to ski?” Sunoo asked after a drawn-out silence.

“He did really well,” Heeseung answered, eager to grasp at a subject that didn’t have to do with either of them or Sunghoon. “He’s a really fast learner. I’m surprised at how adaptable he is honestly. There must be so many differences between Australia and Korea, but he almost never bats an eye and takes everything in stride. It’s impressive.”

“Wow, that’s really high praise.” Sunoo’s voice was high and a little strained, causing Heeseung to glance back to see that the younger boy was staring down at his food, his eyebrows furrowed, seemingly deep in thought.

“Did you forget something?” Heeseung asked as he got to the cashier. Sunoo blinked up at him and shook his head. “Then, I’ll pay for both of these,” Heeseung said, turning back to the employee and nodding back at Sunoo’s plate.

“Hyung…” Sunoo’s protest died on his lips as Heeseung looked over at him and winked.

“Let me at least do one boyfriend-like thing for you even though it might be fake.” Sunoo’s lips clamped shut as his ears turned red, Heeseung using a card to swiftly pay for their lunches before he led Sunoo over to the table their friends had snagged.

The conversation at lunch was mostly dominated by Jay and Riki going on long, descriptive tangents about their snowboarding exploits. Sunoo remained quiet at Heeseung’s side, Heeseung himself interjecting every now and then to poke fun at Jay and praise Riki. Jungwon also told everyone how good Jake was getting at skiing and that he’d probably be close to an expert by the end of the day.

“Oh, come on, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Jake said, laughing as everyone’s attention fell on him. “It was all thanks to Heeseungie-hyung being such a great teacher.” Heeseung smiled at the other boy.

“What is a great teacher without a great student?” He said with grave seriousness, clapping his hands together and bowing a little to Jake from across the table to which Jake responded by giggling and copying the gesture.

“You got that good that quickly?” Sunghoon asked, looking up from his barely touched food in Jake’s direction. “I might have to find you during the afternoon so we can go together.” Jake straightened under Sunghoon’s gaze, his cheeks flushing as he nodded.

“Sure, that sounds like fun.”

“We’re going cross-country skiing up the advanced trail after this, right Sunghoon-hyung?” Sunoo spoke up for the first time that meal from his spot beside Heeseung. Heeseung quickly glanced over to see Sunghoon nod in assent. Heeseung’s appetite suddenly vanished and he put his chopsticks down as quietly as he could. Glancing up however, he could tell that Jungwon had already been watching him and was now looking at him with worry once more. Heeseung shot him a glare that made Jungwon quickly look back at his food. He didn’t need more people to chime in on his misery. “You can meet up with us once you feel comfortable enough,” Sunoo continued, looking over at Jake with an eager smile on his face. Jake smiled back at him; his eyes bright.

“Sure, that sounds like fun!” Heeseung felt a poke on his shoulder and glanced over to see Sunoo hesitantly looking up at him.

“Do you want to come with us too?” A part of Heeseung desperately wanted to. Who doesn’t want to be around the person they like all the time? The other, more rational part of Heeseung knew that he shouldn’t put himself through more pain than he absolutely had to before all of this came to an end the next day. This time, the rational part of him won over.

“I’m going to go check out the black diamond courses this afternoon,” Heeseung answered, pushing his plate back and stretching as he got to his feet. He placed a gentle hand on Sunoo’s hair, looking over at Sunghoon. “Make sure he gets back in one piece. You know he doesn’t have a world-class athlete’s stamina.” Sunoo pouted up at him, his eyes looking almost disappointed but Heeseung knew it was probably just his own wishful thinking. Sunghoon nodded at Heeseung’s reminder, lifting a hand in acknowledgment. “I’ll see you all tonight.”

With that, Heeseung made his escape to the hardest hills the resort had to offer, spending his afternoon hurtling down the slopes at frankly terrifying speeds. There was something comforting in being able to still be in control while doing something seemingly so uncontrollable that was exactly what Heeseung needed. The adrenaline in his system kept his mind off of what Sunoo was possibly doing each moment, a thought that would definitely have constantly filled his mind otherwise.

Later in the afternoon, as the sun was about to start creeping towards the horizon, he met up with Jay, Jungwon and Riki on his way up on the ski lift and the four friends took their time coming back down the hill together to close out their day.

Right about the time of sunset, when the floodlights on the slopes turned on, the boys finally made it to the bottom of the hills for the last time that day. Clouds had been gathering the entire afternoon and now large, fluffy flakes began to fall from the sky, shining brightly in the glare of the huge fluorescent lamps. The four of them lingered outside of the lodge for several minutes, just drinking in the sight of the gently falling snow before Jay finally began to complain about the quickly dropping temperature and urged them all to go inside and turn their equipment back in.

The four of them decided to hang out in the front lobby to wait for Jake, Sunghoon and Sunoo to get back before heading into the lodge for dinner. Riki immediately passed out on Jungwon’s shoulder as Jay pulled out his phone. Heeseung tried to pass the time on his phone as well but his gaze kept straying to the front doors of the lodge, willing them to open. It was completely dark outside now and it looked like the snow was starting to fall a little heavier. As if reading his mind, Jungwon opened his weather app.

“It’s not supposed to snow for that long,” he said quietly, trying not to disturb Riki. That didn’t stop Heeseung’s fingers from restlessly spinning his phone around in his hands as the minutes continued to tick by without any sign of their friends.

After almost a half hour of waiting, Heeseung got to his feet, about to head out onto the trails to go and find them himself when he suddenly saw Sunghoon stumble in through the doorway of the lodge, his skis still attached to his feet, one arm wrapped around Jake who, while still on his skis too, looked like he was on the verge of passing out. Heeseung and Jay ran up to their friends, Jay helping Jake take his skis off so that he could slump over on Jay’s shoulder. Jungwon gently woke Riki up before they both joined the small semi-circle around the snow-covered boys.

“What happened?” Jay asked, eyes wide in worry as Jake shivered from the cold, Sunghoon bending over his knees and taking deep breaths in exhaustion.

“Jake ran off the side of the trail into a ditch accidentally and used almost all his energy climbing back up, so I had to help him back,” Sunghoon said in between gasps. “He should go to the medical center just in case.” Heeseung peered behind Sunghoon, trying to see out into the snow-filled night, a slow feeling of unease filling the pit of his stomach.

“Sunghoon.” Heeseung’s tone was sharp enough to get the attention of the others. “Where’s Sunoo?” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in shock as he looked behind him, mouth opening and closing as he stared at nothing but the door to the lodge and the snow falling in the dark outside.

“He… he was right behind us.” Sunghoon turned to Heeseung, horror dawning over his features. “I promise, hyung, he was… he was right behind us!” Heeseung closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, taking a step closer to Sunghoon.

“I told you to watch him.” Heeseung’s voice was low enough that it could be mistaken as repressed anger when it was in fact Heeseung doing his best not to panic. Sunghoon just shook his head, staring at Heeseung wordlessly before taking a step back towards the door.

“I-I’ll go look for him,” Sunghoon said, but he took only a single step before he wavered on his feet, having to pause once more.

Wordlessly, Heeseung grabbed Jake’s skis from where they had been left on the ground and clicked his boots into them, grabbing Sunghoon’s poles from his limp hands. “Which trail was it?” He asked Sunghoon, his tone short and to the point. Sunghoon stared down at the floor, his eyes unfocused. “Which trail was it!?” Heeseung was yelling now, getting in front of Sunghoon and shaking his shoulders, forcing the other boy to look up at him.

“C… the one that leads out from the parking lot.” With that, Heeseung immediately spun around and started running as fast as he could with the skis on out the doors. He thought he heard Jungwon shout for him from behind, but he ignored him. He had only one goal now. The snow falling outside had started to cover the parking lot in a thin layer of snow so as soon as Heeseung exited the lodge, he was able to move much faster as he sped his way across the mostly empty parking lot and into the trail he could see beginning at the edge of the nearby forest.

Heeseung thanked all his lucky stars that he was a naturally athletic person with a lot of endurance, otherwise he knew he’d never be able to go out again after having been skiing all day.

This trail was one of the narrower ones that edged around a few of the more difficult ski hills and passed right over a gully that was home to a stream that Heeseung knew eventually joined with a river a bit further downhill. It was one of the more dangerous trails to ski on, especially during the night, and especially for beginners like Jake. _What was Sunghoon thinking,_ Heeseung thought, his frustration causing him to go even faster through the beginning of the trail before it started to slowly incline.

By now, it was dark enough that it was nearly impossible to see. Every hundred or so feet there stood a singular lamppost, but they weren’t nearly close enough together to try and find someone out here in the middle of a snowstorm. Heeseung took out his cellphone and turned the flashlight on, sticking it back in his pocket so that he could at least see where he himself was going.

“Sunoo!” As Heeseung travelled further along the trail, he began to call out for Sunoo, his eyes making sure to keep scanning the sides of the trial in case he caught sight of any broken branches signalling that maybe someone had fallen to the side. To his right there was only more forest but to his left, the side of the trail pressed up against the beginnings of the gully which would be a nasty fall if anyone fell into it. Heeseung aggressively shoved that thought out of his mind because he knew that if he even began to entertain that idea, he would definitely lose it. “Kim Sunoo! Sunoo-yah!”

Heeseung pressed on as the trail leveled out a little bit, every step he took adding a little more panic into his calls. “Sunoo! Please! Sunoo!” He was almost gasping for breath now, half out of panic, half out of sheer exertion as he sped along the trail, his eyes sweeping in front of him. “Kim Sunoo!”

At first Heeseung thought it was the wind. Or maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. But as he paused, head lifting up attentively, ears straining against the wind and cold, he heard it again. A small cry from up ahead drifted down towards him.

“Sunoo!” Heeseung bounded forward, yelling Sunoo’s name over and over again. “Kim Sunoo!”

“Hyung!” A small cry suddenly came from down to Heeseung’s left. He detached his boots from the skis and shone his flashlight down into the slowly deepening ditch to the side of the trail. There, perched against a small tree, was huddled the small form of Sunoo, his pale face staring up at him from the light of the flashlight. “Hyung,” Sunoo sobbed as he saw him, the pure weariness in his voice almost reducing Heeseung to tears.

Heeseung immediately took his two ski poles and jammed them into the ground as he slowly climbed down to Sunoo. Thankfully, Sunoo was caught up on a tree that was maybe twenty feet down from the trail so it shouldn’t be too hard for Heeseung to make it back up. Heeseung could see that one of Sunoo’s skis were missing and that the other one was broken in half and was barely hanging onto his foot.

“Sunoo, Sunoo,” Heeseung whispered as he finally reached the base of the tree Sunoo was laying against. He immediately detached the one broken ski from Sunoo’s foot, letting the piece of fiberglass fall from his hand into the dark gully below. The tree wasn’t very wide so Heeseung didn’t allow himself to put any weight on it, instead bracing himself against the side of the gully, feet planted on either side of the protruding trunk as he reached forward to cup Sunoo’s ice-cold face, tilting his head back and forth. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Sunoo’s hat was nowhere to be found and as Heeseung touched the back of Sunoo’s head, the younger boy winced, Heeseung’s hand coming back warm and sticky. Heeseung stared at his hand in horror as Sunoo quietly sobbed, a hand reaching out to weakly grasp at Heeseung’s jacket.

“I was so scared, hyung,” Sunoo cried, his whole body trembling from the shock and the cold. Heeseung gingerly cupped Sunoo’s cheeks and pressed their foreheads together, trying to get Sunoo to look at him.

“Sunoo-yah, I know it’ll be hard, but we have to get you out of here. Are you hurt anywhere else or just your head?” Sunoo sniffed, fingers still clutching onto the front of Heeseung’s jacket.

“Just my head, I think. My feet are so cold that I can’t really tell if I hurt them or not.” Sunoo’s words shook along with his body as he trembled from the freezing temperature. Heeseung nodded, his gloved thumbs wiping Sunoo’s tears away before he pulled back and took his own hat off and carefully placed it over Sunoo’s head, being careful about the wound at the back of his head.

“I’m going to carry you out of here,” he said, gently detaching Sunoo’s death grip on the front of his jacket in order to turn around and offer his back to the younger boy. “Can you put your arms around me?” Sunoo obediently complied, leaning forward to wrap his arms firmly around Heeseung’s neck. Heeseung reached back to bring Sunoo’s knees up around him as well, effectively turning the smaller boy into a human koala. Sunoo’s cheek pressed cold against Heeseung’s ear as he turned his head slightly to tell Sunoo to hold tight.

Heeseung began to pull himself back up the incline using the few tree roots that poked through the snow, grunting with the effort of pulling Sunoo back up with him. The poles he’d stuck firmly into the ground at the top of the trail helped in the final push over the side, Heeseung laying on the ground beside his skis as he gasped for breath for a few moments. Sunoo remained still on top of him, his limbs stuck around Heeseung like they were glued in place.

After sufficiently regaining his breath, Heeseung stumbled to his feet and reattached his boots to the skis and grabbed the poles, beginning the journey back along the trail with Sunoo on his back. Sunoo’s arms and legs never budged a single inch, Sunoo’s breath warming Heeseung’s cheek the entire trip back.

“I knew you would come looking for me, hyung.” Sunoo’s words were whisper-quiet over the already hushed trailside, the silence only broken by the sound of Heeseung’s skis gliding over the snow. Sunoo’s warm breath tickled Heeseung’s ear, his words sending a shiver up Heeseung’s spine as he increased his speed as much as he could without sending them both careening off the trail together.

Most of the trip back was a gradual downwards slope so it didn’t take long before they emerged from the forest back at the beginning of the trail. As they quickly crossed the parking lot towards the lodge, Heeseung could see Jungwon and Riki pacing right outside the entrance. They both shot their heads up as Heeseung and Sunoo approached, shock crossing their faces as they ran to meet them.

“Sunoo-hyung!” Riki yelled, immediately reaching to take Sunoo from Heeseung’s back and onto his own, detaching Sunoo’s unwilling limbs from around Heeseung and quickly running into the lodge. Jungwon caught Heeseung as he stumbled from the sudden loss of weight and helped him take the skis off, lending a shoulder as they slowly made their way after Riki and Sunoo.

“They should all be in the medical center,” Jungwon said, leading the way to a small corridor that led out of the entryway, Heeseung following close behind. Jungwon guided him down the hallway, Heeseung mechanically putting one foot in front of the other, his mind an absolute mess of emotions, his only goal being to make sure that Sunoo was alright.

Finally, Jungwon opened a door at the end of the hallway to reveal a small white, sterile room with a bed, a sink and a few cabinets filled with bandages and medicines. Heeseung immediately pushed his way past Jay who was lingering near the doorway in order to drop to his knees beside Sunoo who was sitting on the edge of the bed. A nurse was pushing up the hair at the back of Sunoo’s head, looking for the wound there. Sunoo grabbed onto Heeseung’s hand as soon as he could reach him, the younger boy’s face pale. Heeseung watched the nurse poke at the back of his head for a few moments before his impatience and worry finally got the best of him.

“Well? Is he okay?” The nurse glanced over at him and gave him a small reassuring smile.

“It looks like he knocked it pretty hard on the tree that he mentioned but I don’t think it needs stitches. Head wounds like these often look much scarier than they really are,” the nurse added, seeing Heeseung’s doubtful expression. “I’ll need to shave away a bit of hair around the cut in order to bandage it properly, but the rest of his hair will cover it well.” Heeseung slumped against the bed, holding onto Sunoo’s fingers with a vice grip.

“There’s…” Heeseung stopped to clear his throat, his voice coming out breathy from relief. “He doesn’t have a concussion or anything?” The nurse shook her head, holding up a small penlight that she pulled from her pocket and shining the light quickly into Sunoo’s eyes.

“That was the first thing I made sure of. If he does it’s very slight. He’s mostly suffering from the cold and shock right now so the best thing for him to do after I bandage his wound would be to drink water and stay warm. He’s very lucky that he got away with only a bump on his head. His right ankle is a little swollen but if you put some ice on it it’ll be fine. Stay here in the office for another hour or so just to make sure you don’t develop any other symptoms but other than that you should be good to go home by today.” Heeseung nodded, a wave of relief washing over him. Sunoo’s fingers still trembled in his grasp and Heeseung looked up at the younger boy who was staring down at him with tired and scared eyes.

Heeseung reached up to slowly pat his cheek as the nurse began carefully shaving away some hairs located near the cut on his head. “You’re okay, Sunoo. Everything’s fine now.” The smile Sunoo gave him was wobbly but present and Heeseung squeezed Sunoo’s hand reassuringly.

“Riki,” Heeseung said, addressing the youngest boy who was standing near the end of the bed, hands wringing anxiously in front of him. “Can you go get him some water?” Riki blinked and nodded, dashing out of the room wordlessly.

“I’ll go with him to get a blanket from the gift shop,” Jungwon added before following the other boy out.

It was only as the nurse was applying the medicinal cream and bandage on the cut, Sunoo hissing slightly in pain as his fingers tightened over Heeseung’s, that the older boy noticed Jake and Sunghoon for the first time off in the corner. Jake was seated on a chair looking completely drained, a bandage over a cut that Heeseung hadn’t noticed before covering his left eyebrow. Sunghoon hovered at his shoulder as he stared over at Sunoo and Heeseung with a clearly guilty expression on his face.

No one talked until the nurse left the room after dressing Sunoo’s injury and Riki and Jungwon returned with water and a blanket that Jungwon securely wrapped around him, taking a seat on the bed beside Sunoo and putting an arm around him reassuringly. Heeseung remained beside him on the ground, his thumb gently rubbing comforting circles on the back of Sunoo’s hand as Sunoo quietly sipped his water, head lowered.

“Sunoo-yah,” Sunghoon quietly said, his voice breaking the silence abruptly. Heeseung kept his head down, watching as Sunoo’s fingers stiffened within his grasp. Sunghoon came to stand before Sunoo, looking down at him with a sad expression on his face, Jake hovering nervously behind him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice that you had fallen behind. It’s really all my fault.”

“No, it’s mine,” Jake interjected, stepping forward and kneeling beside Sunoo on the opposite side from Heeseung. He put a hand on Sunoo’s knee and looked up at him with mournful puppy eyes. “I shouldn’t have tagged along in the first place when I’m just a beginner. I’m really sorry.”

“We both made mistakes,” Sunghoon said as Sunoo looked up at him. “And you were the one who paid for it and I don’t think there’s any way I can possibly make it up to you.” Heeseung chanced a glance up at Sunoo and felt his heart twinge uncomfortably at the small smile that crossed the younger boy’s face.

“It was just bad luck hyungs,” Sunoo said, his voice tired but completely devoid of any resentment. “I should have been more careful as well. It also could have been a lot worse so honestly we’re really lucky that Heeseungie-hyung found me so quickly.” Sunoo gave a small smile down at Heeseung who smiled slightly in return before finally looking up to meet Sunghoon’s gaze. Sunghoon looked at Heeseung with perhaps even more apprehension than he had looked at Sunoo.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Sunghoon apologized, his voice quiet. “You asked me to make sure he stayed safe and I couldn’t do it.” Heeseung didn’t answer and merely held Sunghoon’s gaze, causing the other to close his eyes as his lips trembled. “I’m really sorry.” Heeseung was about to open his mouth to reprimand Sunghoon for letting Sunoo out of his sight like that when he was stopped by a squeeze on his hand. His gaze shifted to Sunoo who was looking down at him in worry, almost imperceptibly shaking his head as if telling Heeseung not to get angry. _Does he still like him that much?_ The thought filled Heeseung with an almost incredible amount of pain and sense of loss but still he obligingly took a deep breath and counted to three before standing up straight so he could look Sunghoon in the eye, letting his hand slip from Sunoo’s.

“Just… please. Never let this happen again, Sunghoon-ah.” Heeseung tiredly clapped Sunghoon on the shoulder, the younger boy nodding shallowly as Heeseung walked over to join Jay who was leaning up against the wall as he watched the scene unfold. Jay patted Heeseung’s shoulder in comfort, Heeseung tiredly leaning against his best friend’s shoulder as Riki took the spot Heeseung had vacated, lifting Sunoo’s one slightly injured ankle in order to place the ice pack the nurse had handed to him on it. Jake brought his chair closer to the bed as he monitored Sunoo’s condition, Sunghoon hanging back as he watched the four of them tiredly.

The next hour passed like this and at the nurse’s go-ahead, the seven of them made their way out of the lodge and into the cold night air. The snow was beginning to slow now after putting barely five centimeters of snow on the ground which meant driving back to the cottage that night wouldn’t be dangerous.

They took the same cars they came with, Riki guiding Sunoo into the car Sunghoon was driving. Heeseung watched to make sure they’d both be safely in the backseat before hopping into the passenger side of Jay’s car. He spent the entire car ride keeping his whole attention on the car following behind them, his heart almost leaping out of his chest whenever they lost sight of each other because of a bend in the road or a small hill.

When they finally reached the cottage, Heeseung was the first to hop out of the car and was there waiting when Sunghoon pulled in behind them. Heeseung let Sunoo lean on both him and Riki as they helped him into the house and up the stairs. Sunoo insisted that he could walk on his own but Heeseung could clearly see that the younger boy was swaying on his feet from exhaustion while limping slightly and was determined to have a hand safely under his elbow every step of the way.

It was close to midnight by the time Heeseung safely tucked Sunoo into bed after washing up and getting dressed. Heeseung forced Sunoo to take the painkiller the nurse had recommended them as it would help him sleep, especially for the first night. Sunoo let out a tiny sigh as Heeseung covered him securely with the comforter, one of Sunoo’s hands patting around the pillow before locating Sun, tucking the small doll securely under his arm as he almost immediately fell asleep curled up on his side so as not to disturb the bandaging on the back of his head.

Heeseung got ready for bed more slowly, taking his time to gradually unwind. The amount of stress he’d experienced throughout the day made his limbs shakier than they usually were, causing him to almost stumble to his knees a few times before he finally crawled into bed himself, turning the light off.

Sunoo was turned towards him in the dark, curled into a tiny ball with his lips slightly parted as he breathed softly. Heeseung didn’t know how long he spent laying there in the darkness, gazing at the boy he’d honestly thought he’d been on the verge of losing but a handful of hours ago.

Heeseung’s sleep was fitful. He found himself starting awake what felt like every fifteen minutes or so, Sunoo’s name on the tip of his tongue. He always woke to find Sunoo unmoving beside him, continuing to let out tiny snores as he slept peacefully throughout the night. After each of these instances, Heeseung lulled himself back to sleep by listening to the younger safely sleeping beside him. He finally fell asleep for a good hour or so at around 6AM. When he woke a bit later, the room was already getting bright around them.

Heeseung’s head felt fuzzy from the lack of sleep and it took him a few beats to realize that his arm had somehow once again stretched out towards Sunoo in the middle of his sleep. What was more jarring was that one of Sunoo’s hands had also reached out of his blanket cocoon in order to wrap gently around two of his fingers.

Heeseung’s eyes widened as he froze for a moment, completely unsure as to how he should respond. Then, he remembered Sunoo’s gentle smile at Sunghoon the night before, the infinite understanding. He also realized that today was New Year’s Eve; the day Sunoo had said their little arrangement would come to an end as he finally confessed to Sunghoon what his true feelings were. Heeseung’s stomach tied up in knots as he slowly worked his fingers out of Sunoo’s grip, holding his breath the entire time. With his hand safely freed, Heeseung carefully extracted himself from underneath the covers and quietly grabbed his clothes, slipping out of the bedroom without making a single sound.

Behind him, Sunoo’s eyes slowly opened as he looked at the now-empty side of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boyy
> 
> one last chapter to go!!
> 
> thank you again to all who have commented/given kudos y'all are great :)) 
> 
> pls [vote](https://twitter.com/enhypenvotecrew/status/1353672170442870788?s=20) for enha roty on mubeat!


	5. Chapter 5

The house was as quiet as to be expected that early in the morning. It was the day of New Year’s Eve and everyone was sleeping in, anticipating a long night to come. Heeseung would definitely have been one of them if he wasn’t feeling so restless. After getting dressed, he crept downstairs and made himself a coffee before perching on the edge of the kitchen counter and staring out the window over the sink at the morning view. It was just after eight now and the sun was already passing over the tops of the trees on the horizon. Heeseung slowly sipped at the hot drink in his hands, willing himself to gradually wake up, the ghost of Sunoo’s grasp on his fingers continuing to plague his mind.

“Hyung.” Heeseung jumped a little at the sound of Jungwon’s quiet call as he glanced over his shoulder to see his younger brother pad into the kitchen, dressed but with his hair still mussed from sleep. Jungwon was a habitually early riser so it didn’t surprise Heeseung that he was the first to emerge. It was definitely out of character for Heeseung though and Jungwon knew it, the younger coming to stand beside where Heeseung was sitting on the countertop and placing a hand on his knee. Jungwon looked up at him searchingly, his eyes too serious for so early in the morning. “You look like you didn’t get to sleep at all.”

Heeseung lifted a hand to gently begin the process of combing out Jungwon’s bedhead with his fingers, his younger brother obligingly leaning into the touch. “I… had a lot on my mind.”

“Did Sunoo-hyung sleep okay?” Heeseung nodded, his heart aching upon just hearing his name.

“The painkiller knocked him right out. I guess I was the only one not sleeping well,” he added with a light chuckle. Jungwon pouted up at him for a few moments before he finally pushed himself off from the counter.

“Alright, that’s it. I’m gonna steal you away for a couple of hours.” Heeseung blinked in surprise as he watched Jungwon walk to the other side of the kitchen where a pair of keys for the cars they had brought lay on the counter.

“What are you talking about?” Jungwon turned around as he grabbed a set of keys, holding them up and jingling the keyring a little bit.

“Yesterday Jay-hyung texted me a list of groceries he wanted me to go get this morning for dinner tonight. Apparently, he wants to go all out and I’m enlisting your help.” Heeseung huffed out a small laugh and obediently hopped down from the counter, placing his cup in the sink and following Jungwon out to the front foyer. The two brothers got dressed for the cold weather outside and made their way out to the cars.

Heeseung drew in a lungful of fresh, cold mountain air, closing his eyes as he felt the climbing sun’s rays hit his face. “You want me to drive?” He asked, glancing over at Jungwon. Jungwon shook his head.

“I don’t trust that you won’t fall asleep halfway through.” Heeseung rolled his eyes as the two of them climbed inside Jay’s car.

“You know, ever since you got your license a few months ago I really feel like you’ve changed, Yang Jungwon.”

“Yes, yes, I know. I’m sorry that I let the power get to my head,” Jungwon humoured him as he started the car, the two boys waiting for it to warm up as Heeseung shuffled through his phone’s playlist after connecting to the car’s Bluetooth.

Ten minutes later the two of them were cruising along the empty countryside roads towards the small town that was a good forty-five-minute drive from the Park’s isolated cottage.

“I thought we had made sure we’d gotten all the groceries we’d needed before we came up here,” Heeseung commented as Jungwon crested them over a hill. A few miles away they could see the layout of the town they were headed to below them.

“Jay-hyung’s been pouring over cookbooks all week,” Jungwon explained. “He’s gotten some ideas that he wants to try since it’s our last night here. He sounded so excited when he was trying to explain it to me yesterday that I offered to go pick everything up for him.”

“Were you always going to plan to bring me?” Heeseung asked, glancing over at Jungwon. The younger boy’s lips quirked up slightly.

“… Perhaps.”

“What, were you going to stealth your way into my room if I hadn’t already been up and shaken me awake?”

“You know me too well.” Heeseung snorted at Jungwon’s calm response.

“It’s a good thing I was already awake then I guess. Talk about starting the day off on the wrong foot.”

After the first time Jungwon had mentioned Sunoo, Heeseung noticed that he made sure to never mention him again. Heeseung knew it was probably deliberate though, the thought crossing his mind as they pulled into the parking lot of the one grocery store in the town a little while later. Just like he knew Jungwon would have found any excuse to pull him out of the house that morning.

The two brothers made their way into the grocery store and spent the next half-hour or so walking up and down the aisles; Heeseung armed with the shopping cart, Jungwon with the list of ingredients Jay had sent on his phone.

As they finally brought their purchases to the cash registers, Heeseung was grateful that Jungwon had insisted they’d go out. He still felt like he’d had all the wind knocked out of his sails, but his head was a bit clearer now that he’d gone outside and gotten away from things that reminded him of his problems. At least for this little while, Heeseung could simply follow his younger brother without his thoughts straying to a certain fox-eyed boy every five minutes.

This all came to an end when Jungwon pointed out that they had yet to eat breakfast after they’d loaded everything into the trunk of the car. By then it was almost ten in the morning so the two of them made their way into a diner beside the grocery store, both of them ordering platters of pancakes, eggs and bread to satiate their hunger before the long drive back.

Heeseung hadn’t noticed how hungry he was until the food was slid before them, the two brothers wolfing down their breakfast in single-minded silence. It was as Heeseung was laying his utensils back on his plate with a satisfied sigh that Jungwon looked across the booth at him, his eyes no longer bright and teasing as they had been for most of the morning but now serious and searching.

“I’m going to say it again, hyung,” Jungwon said after they just looked at each other for a few beats. “You should really tell Sunoo-hyung how you feel.” Heeseung dropped his gaze to stare down at the syrup that was left on his plate, the only remains from his breakfast to be found. “I can’t watch you let this whole week go by and become only a memory without at least trying to confess. Especially after last night… I was really scared. For Sunoo-hyung, yes, but also for you. You should have seen how frightened you looked.” Heeseung swallowed hard, feeling awful that he’d caused his brother this much worry.

“I… I can’t Jungwonie. I’ve already told you this. I can’t do that because…”

“Because you think it’s selfish of you but you’re wrong, hyung. It’s not!” Heeseung looked up at how curt Jungwon’s tone was, the corners of the younger boy’s mouth turned down in an emotion bordering annoyance. “I’m so tired of you constantly trying to be everything for everyone but not speaking up when it’s something that’s actually important to you!” Heeseung blinked in surprise as Jungwon’s tone got more and more frustrated. “You’ve always been like this, ever since we were kids. Giving up the bigger pieces of cake or the better side of the couch or the best spot on the bus. I can’t watch you give up on Sunoo-hyung too.” Heeseung felt tears suddenly sting the back of his eyes but he willed them away. It was way too early in the morning to be crying in the middle of an all-day breakfast diner.

“Wonie,” Heeseung gently said, reaching across the table to hold onto Jungwon’s clenched fist. “I can’t just change a part of my personality like that for something this big. A piece of cake? That’s nothing. But this involves things that aren’t just my own feelings. It’s also Sunoo’s feelings. It’s also our friendship. I can give up a lot more than my own feelings if it meant that those two things remained intact.” Jungwon’s face crumpled, the hand that wasn’t being held by Heeseung reaching up to tiredly rub his eyes.

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to convince you.” Jungwon’s tone was resigned. “But,” he added, looking at Heeseung seriously, “you’re crazy if you think that Sunoo-hyung doesn’t know about your feelings by now.” A bolt of terror ran through Heeseung and it must have showed on his face because Jungwon pressed onwards. “He’s not dumb. He knows. Hell, anyone would know if they’d been looking at your face at any point last night. Who knows, he might just be waiting for you to say something first because let’s face it, you guys are in a weird relationship right now.” Heeseung swallowed, his eyebrows furrowing as he let himself entertain this possibility for a single, fleeting moment before slowly shaking his head.

“If he knows and still confesses to Sunghoon tonight then I’ll already have my answer, Jungwon-ah.” Heeseung forced himself to smile at his younger brother who visibly deflated under his words. “Regardless of what happens, all this will be over by tomorrow. I’ll deal with whatever fallout might happen then.” Jungwon loosened the fist within Heeseung’s grasp, putting his hand over Heeseung’s and squeezing it tight instead.

“I’ll be beside you no matter what, hyung. If you need anything you know I’ll be right there.” Heeseung grinned and cooed at Jungwon, standing a little to reach across the table and pat Jungwon’s cheeks.

“Look at my grownup baby brother! Wow he’s so cute and cool at the same time he’s amazing!” Jungwon giggled, indulging in Heeseung’s antics before the two of them got up and left the diner to return to the car and head back to the house.

Even though his stance on the situation hadn’t changed, Heeseung was in a slightly better state of mind heading back into the mountains than he had been when he’d woken up that morning. The thought that by tomorrow the fate of his feelings would have been decided filled him with a small amount of comfort and he did his very best not to dwell on them on the way back. Of course, he was Lee Heeseung and there was nothing he was better at than stewing over something until it absolutely exhausted him. His lack of sleep the night before caught up to him as they arrived at the cottage just before noon, his eyelids growing heavy and only being saved from closing by their arrival.

Heeseung blurrily helped Jungwon lug their grocery bags into the house, being greeted by an excited Jay and Jake who took the groceries from them before bounding into the kitchen. Sunghoon waved over at them from where he walked up from the basement, Heeseung smiling reassuringly when Sunghoon hesitated upon seeing him. They exchanged a quick searching glance before Heeseung threw his arms around both his and Jungwon’s shoulders as the three of them followed Jay and Jake more slowly into the kitchen. Sunghoon had apologized profusely already, there was no way Heeseung could hold a grudge against one of his oldest friends.

Sunoo finally appeared following behind Riki about a half hour later, the smell of quickly thrown together ramyeon luring them downstairs. Sunoo met Heeseung’s gaze from across the kitchen, his eyes widening a little in surprise before making his way over to him.

“Where did you go this morning?” Sunoo quietly asked over the sound of Jay ushering everyone into the dining room. Heeseung smiled gently down at him, putting an arm loosely around his shoulders in order to steer him in behind everyone else.

“I went into town with Jungwon to grab groceries.” Heeseung pulled back a little to lift up the strands of hair covering the bandage on Sunoo’s head, inspecting the area closely. “You feeling okay? You slept fine?” Sunoo nodded.

“Riki made sure I took another painkiller when I woke up with my breakfast.” Heeseung, satisfied, slid into the seat he’d been sitting in for every meal. Sunoo slipped in beside him, Heeseung automatically reaching for his plate to fill it up for him. Sunoo smiled at him gratefully to which Heeseung quickly smiled in response before picking languidly at his own bowl. What with the late breakfast he’d had and the lack of sleep his appetite was almost non-existent at this point.

Jungwon watched him carefully from across the table as their lunch came to and end with Heeseung’s plate still containing almost the same amount of noodles as it had had at the start, which was saying something considering how much Heeseung adored ramyeon. “Are you okay, hyung?” Riki asked, directing everyone’s attention to him. “You barely ate.” Heeseung frowned slightly at Riki’s insistence to make this a big deal as he knew full-well that he and Jungwon were as thick as thieves in this scenario, ignoring the way Sunoo was looking at him, hands fiddling in his lap.

“I guess I’m just too tired to eat.” Heeseung’s response was curt which he knew was very unlike him. _Get a grip,_ he mentally chastised himself.

“That’s true,” Jay interjected from the head of the table. “Not only to mention that whole thing last night, Heeseung-hyung also went with Jungwonie into town to get groceries super early this morning. I was shocked that he was able to be dragged out of bed.” Heeseung shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wishing his friends didn’t know his habits so well. Or that he wasn’t so good at creating them.

Heeseung jumped a little as he felt a hand gently touch his arm. He looked over to see Sunoo watching him with worry in his eyes. “You should go to bed for a bit, hyung.” Heeseung nodded once and stood, removing himself from Sunoo’s burning touch as quickly as he could.

“Yeah, you’re right. I should.” With that Heeseung made his way back upstairs and threw himself onto his and Sunoo’s bed, burying his face in the pillows. “What am I doing?” He mumbled, his voice getting lost in the empty bedroom. Heeseung rolled around impatiently and turned his head to find himself face-to-face with Sun, the little fox plush staring at him with bright glass eyes. Sighing, Heeseung patted its head. “I’m pretty dumb, aren’t I?” It was almost as if Sunoo’s eyes were staring back at him from within the fox and Heeseung groaned in frustration, running a hand through his hair as he sat back up cross-legged on top of the bed.

He knew that Sunoo would probably confess to Sunghoon that night and that he should be mentally preparing himself for it instead of letting his emotions control him. The window for telling Sunoo about his feelings had long since passed. Since the moment he had agreed to fake date Sunoo in order for Sunoo to win Sunghoon over, his fate had been sealed. If he had wanted a chance with Sunoo he should have realized his feelings sooner or at least had refused to help Sunoo with such a ridiculous plan.

Heeseung couldn’t even honestly say what Sunghoon’s reaction would be to Sunoo’s confession. It was obvious that Sunghoon had grown a soft spot for Jake in the short time they’d known each other, but he’d known Kim Sunoo for almost his entire life. Hell, Heeseung hadn’t even realized that he’d loved Sunoo until Sunoo was already out of his reach. What’s to say this past week living with thinking that Sunoo was dating someone else hadn’t also affected Sunghoon?

Heeseung’s time had run out. All that was left to do was let Sunoo play out the end of his charade and do his best to keep his promise; even if it meant that his heart was broken in the process.

With that grim determination settled, Heeseung slowly lay back down on the bed and fitfully tried to sleep for a few hours, his restless night before finally catching up with him.

He rested on the verge of sleep for the most part, where the line that separated his conscious and unconscious mind got the blurriest. It was there that a memory returned to him in the guise of a dream.

It was over half a year ago, back at the start of the school year. It was nearing the end of their second week at school and Heeseung was sitting beside Sunoo on the bus they used to take to get back home after school. Before they’d gotten on the bus, Sunoo had laughingly told Heeseung that he didn’t need him to hover around him anymore whenever he wasn’t in class for fear of Sunoo getting lost.

“I think I’ll be okay from now on, hyung,” Sunoo had said, looking up at Heeseung by the bus stop as the late spring sun began to sink behind the buildings of their university. “Thanks for all your help though, I really would have had a hard time without you.” Heeseung had felt an unexpected pain run through his chest but he masked it with a small chuckle.

“Oh, thank god,” he’d joked, reaching out to pinch Sunoo’s cheek affectionately. “If I had to prevent you from walking into one more wrong classroom, I think I would have lost it.” Sunoo sighed, rolling his eyes, lips pulling into a disgruntled pout as their bus finally pulled up.

“It was never that bad, what are you saying.” Heeseung smiled at Sunoo’s whines behind him as they got on the bus, Heeseung heading towards their usual seat near the back. He slid into the window seat as Sunoo plopped down beside him, the younger boy immediately taking out his earphones to listen to music as the bus began the forty-five-minute drive back to their side of the city.

Heeseung stared out the window, watching as the bright fiery sun sank slowly below the horizon, the sky becoming multiple shades of pink, purple and orange. The rays spilled over the city, Heeseung closing his eyes as they warmed his face even through the bus window. Because this was also a dream, the colours seemed even more vibrant and animated, the sky a veritable ocean of gold that Heeseung subconsciously knew wasn’t exactly true to what had happened.

What was the same, however, was the way Heeseung felt a gentle weight land on his shoulder. He glanced down to see Sunoo fast asleep, his head resting comfortably against Heeseung as he succumbed to the fatigues of a long day. Heeseung’s breath hitched in his lungs as he watched the setting sun alight the younger boy’s at once sharp and soft features with a bright glow, carving against the slope of his soft cheeks and the plane of his nose. Heeseung knew now as he slept that this was the moment his feelings for Sunoo had bubbled to the surface, struggling to take a breath even as his own fears forced them back under. This was when the subtle pang in his heart that had made itself known when Sunoo had told him he didn’t need him anymore had taken up residence deep within his heart, so deep that Heeseung had refused to face it for months after the fact.

Heeseung was momentarily so overwhelmed that he couldn’t help but raise up a hand to gently caress the side of Sunoo’s face, his heart wildly beating in both thrill and fear that Heeseung remembered stubbornly repressing, letting his hand drop before it could reach Sunoo’s cheek and turning to keep his gaze focused out of the window.

Unlike what he knew had actually happened though, the Heeseung in the dream caved in and let his fingers brush along Sunoo’s sun-kissed cheek. He watched as Sunoo’s eyelashes fluttered as his eyes sleepily blinked open, turning his head up to meet Heeseung’s gaze, Heeseung’s fingers frozen on the side of his face. With a small smile, Sunoo slowly angled his head upwards and brought his mouth towards Heeseung’s. He felt Sunoo’s breath brush across his lips as both of their eyes slid shut, Heeseung making the last bit of movement needed to close the gap between them.

That was when Heeseung awoke with a small gasp, curled into a ball on his side back in the bedroom. He shakily sighed, blinking away the tears that had gathered in his eyes as he rolled onto his back to gaze up at the ceiling, regret worming through his chest, making it hard to breathe.

Heeseung emerged a few hours later as the sun began to set, being drawn downstairs by delicious smells as his stomach began to rumble even though he still didn’t really feel like eating. Jungwon looked up as Heeseung entered the kitchen from where he was plating side dishes that Jay and Jake had thrown together with the groceries they’d gotten that morning. Heeseung nodded at Jungwon’s questioning glance, cracking a small smile that seemed to placate his younger brother.

Heeseung leaned against the counter of the island as he watched his friends quickly put the food they’d prepared into dishes. It was mainly a spread of impressive side dishes: vegetables, japchae, spicy tofu soup. Heeseung watched as Jay and Jake hovered around the food they’d spent the afternoon making, smiling slightly at how proud they looked.

Sunoo appeared just then at his side when he noticed Heeseung reappear and slowly pulled at his arm, Heeseung obediently following him out of the kitchen and into the darkened hallway that led to the living room. Sunoo’s face was cast in shadow as he turned to face Heeseung, his eyes looking nervously around him before leaning forward. “Can you come with me to the edge of the cliff where we went on our sled ride the other day just before midnight?” Heeseung frowned in confusion as Sunoo whispered to him.

“Do… you need help getting there? That’s where you’re going to… do it, right? Can’t Sunghoon just come with you?” Sunoo blinked at Heeseung’s curt tone, his feet shifting nervously under Heeseung’s stare.

“It’s…” Sunoo’s gaze dropped to examine his slipper-covered feet. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.” Heeseung swallowed thickly around the lump that suddenly blocked his throat before reaching out to gently brush Sunoo’s bangs out of his face.

“If you need me to come with you I will,” Heeseung relented, eyes softening as Sunoo’s face brightened in relief. Sunoo grabbed his hand to drag him to the dining room as Riki called for them to come to dinner. Heeseung silently shoveled food into his mouth, comforting himself with the thought that he’d be able to escape into the woods once he saw Sunghoon approaching them. _You just need to make sure he gets there safely Heeseung,_ he told himself firmly, keeping his eyes fixed on his plate even as the others around him loudly discussed what they’d do for the rest of the evening. They all seemed to decide on watching the New Year’s Eve music special that’d be on TV later as it probably was the easiest form of entertainment they’d be able to have. Heeseung noticed that Sunoo was quiet during the discussion even as Sunghoon was loudly voicing his opinion on the far side of the table, him and Jay debating whether watching it in the living room or the basement would be better. _I wonder if he’s asked him yet,_ Heeseung wondered, taking in how fidgety Sunoo was.

The hours until midnight slowly ticked by as everyone gathered in the living room by the fireplace to play boardgames before the music show started. Heeseung momentarily forgot his woes as he was surrounded by the constant vibrant personalities of his best friends, the house echoing with their laughter. Even though the past week had been unbelievably emotionally draining he’d still had fun being around people he couldn’t see as often anymore. No matter what the rest of that night might bring, Heeseung knew that he’d always have them all to fall back on.

Soon the music program began, and everyone settled down to watch it: Jungwon curling into Heeseung’s side in between him and Riki, Sunoo parked on the carpet, leaning the side of his head against Heeseung’s knee. Jay was sprawled across the floor in front of them while Jake and Sunghoon were off to the side sharing the loveseat.

Riki and Sunoo enthusiastically talked about the girl group performances while Jay commented on people’s fashion choices, much to everyone’s delight.

“Okay everyone, half an hour left to midnight!” Jungwon suddenly said a while later, quickly checking his phone. Jay rolled around on the carpet to check his own watch, his eyes going wide with delight when he saw the time. A frankly evil grin spread across his face as he leapt to his feed and dashed out of the room. A groan came from Jungwon as he quickly jumped up as well and chased after him. “Jay-hyung don’t even think about it! Riki and I are minors, you can’t just give us champagne!”

Riki’s eyes widened as he watched Jungwon run out of the room and he instantly bolted after him. “Yes, he can Jungwon-hyung! It’s his house!”

“That’s not how that works!” Jungwon’s yell could be heard throughout the house as the trio trampled their way down into the basement, the basement door slamming shut behind them.

The four remaining friends shared an amused glance, Jake and Sunghoon returning their attention to the TV screen. Heeseung felt Sunoo suddenly pinch his thigh and he looked down to see the younger boy looking up at him pointedly.

Heeseung felt the dread he’d been tiptoeing around all day slowly begin to weigh down his stomach as he nodded, helping Sunoo to his feet as they both made their way out of the room. Heeseung glanced back to see if Sunghoon was making any move to follow but his friend was still engrossed in the performance that was happening on the screen.

Sunoo and Heeseung quickly bundled themselves up before letting themselves quietly out the front door and into the cold, silent night. Sunoo attached himself to Heeseung’s arm as Heeseung held a flashlight he’d snagged from a cupboard in the foyer, shining the light on the snow as they made their way slowly up the hill they’d gone up a few days before. Heeseung looked up to see stars peeking through the bare branches of the trees, a cloudless night opening before them.

“It’s so pretty out.” Sunoo’s voice was hushed as they made their way through the still forest, the crunch of their boots on the snow the only sound to disturb them. Heeseung hummed in agreement, guiding them around a root that poked through the snow, being extra careful just in case Sunoo were to stumble and bump his head or hurt his ankle again.

“You’re feeling alright, right?” Heeseung asked, looking down at Sunoo’s feet to make sure he wasn’t limping. Sunoo nodded, reaching up to gently pat the back of his head.

“My ankle is completely fine and so far, my head only hurts if someone touches it. I’ll be okay.”

They made the rest of the walk in silence, reaching the edge of the cliff about ten minutes before midnight, Heeseung noting the time as he switched off the flashlight. Standing on the cliff’s edge, they could just see the lights of the small town a few miles away in the distance below them. Sunoo’s hands slipped from Heeseung’s arm, dropping instead to his sides as he stared out into the distance at the blanket of stars overhead.

Heeseung spent the next few minutes anxiously casting glances over his shoulder at the way they had come, looking for any tell-tale swing of a flashlight that signalled Sunghoon’s arrival. Sunoo remained silent beside him as the minutes to midnight began counting down even as Heeseung began to get antsy as Sunghoon was yet to appear with only a few minutes to spare.

Heeseung pulled his phone out to see that the time now read out two minutes to midnight and he turned to stare at Sunoo’s side-profile, his breath stuttering as he took in how pretty the other boy was, tiny bits of starlight gleaming within his eyes. Heeseung clenched a fist tight as he put a hand on Sunoo’s shoulder.

“Sunoo-yah,” he quietly said.

“Hmm?” Sunoo slowly turned to face him, looking up at Heeseung with eyes that seemed to shine even brighter for the lack of light. Heeseung stared down at him in silence, trying in vain to search Sunoo’s face for any hint as to what was going through his mind. But Sunoo remained still, steadily maintaining eye-contact with Heeseung.

“What’s going on, Sunoo?” Heeseung whispered, his voice growing hoarse as his heart began to beat quicker in his ears. “Please say something or else…” Heeseung pressed his trembling lips together, breathing in sharply through his nose.

“Or else what, hyung?” Sunoo’s tone was encouraging, as if he was telling Heeseung that it was okay to continue. So, he did.

“…Or else I’ll start to misunderstand.” Heeseung hated the way his words wobbled at the end with emotion, his hand slipping from Sunoo’s shoulder to fall back down to his side, gaze dropping to stare at the snow. Sunoo was silent for a beat before he responded.

“What if… what if I want you to misunderstand?”

Heeseung snapped his head back up at Sunoo’s carefully spoken words, staring at the smaller boy in surprise. Sunoo continued to stare up at him although his eyes were now beginning to grow a little desperate.

“That’s not funny, Sunoo.” Heeseung laughed weakly, taking a half-step back. Sunoo immediately stepped forward with him and grabbed both of Heeseung’s elbows to keep him in place.

“I’m not trying to make a joke,” Sunoo earnestly said, staring Heeseung straight in his eyes. “I’m very serious, hyung. More serious than I think I’ve ever been about almost anything.” Heeseung shook his head slowly.

“I don’t understand.” Sunoo’s eyes fluttered closed as if he was mentally trying to organize his own words.

“This past week,” he slowly began, “I learned a lot of things. I realized that Sunghoonie-hyung doesn’t like me the way I wanted him to. He might have at one point, but he doesn’t anymore and probably hasn’t for a while. I also realized,” he continued, opening his eyes to look up at Heeseung who was almost overwhelmed at the sight of tears in Sunoo’s eyes, “that you really care a lot for me, Heeseung-hyung.” Sunoo sniffed as a tear escaped the corner of his eye to roll down his cheek. Heeseung felt his own emotions well up right behind his eyes but he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay, not wanting to miss a single expression that crossed Sunoo’s face. “You always take such good care of me and you have always treated me so, so well. Ever since we’ve been kids you’ve always been by my side to look after me. I thought that it was something you did for everyone, and it took me so long to realize that it wasn’t.”

Sunoo was freely crying now, tears streaming down his face even though his words remained steady and sure. Heeseung felt his throat go dry as Sunoo stared up at him with eyes so big and full of such wonder that Heeseung couldn’t help but raise a gloved hand to gently cradle his cheek. Sunoo leaned into his touch, eyes closing for a moment.

“I also realized,” Sunoo continued, his voice dropping back to a whisper as his own hand reached up to cover Heeseung’s hand where it lay on his cheek, “that maybe friendship really isn’t that far away from love after all. And that maybe I had spent the past week looking for it everywhere except for right in front of me.” Sunoo’s eyes opened to look up at Heeseung once more, Heeseung feeling his own eyes widen at the implication of what Sunoo had just said. Sunoo watched him for a few moments before he gave Heeseung a small, shy smile and spoke again. “Will you go out with me hyung? For real this time?”

Heeseung felt as if the entire world had just been pulled out from underneath him and that he was now floating away through the cold winter sky. A part of his brain yelled at him to instantly accept while the other half of him pulled him back, urging him to be careful, that he had to be reading this all wrong once again. “I…” Heeseung was surprised to hear how rough with emotion his voice was to his own ears and he felt Sunoo shiver under his touch. “I don’t want to be your second choice, Sunoo.”

Fireworks suddenly burst into the air over the town miles below them, the sound muted but the light from them still able to shine on the pair at the edge of the cliff, the red sparks lighting up Sunoo’s sincere, tear-filled eyes as he gazed earnestly up at Heeseung, reaching up to hold his face in both of his smaller hands. “I promise,” Sunoo choked out, tears once more running down his cheeks. “I promise you that you could never be anything but first place in my heart, hyung.” A tear-filled laugh bubbled from Sunoo’s lips as he beamed up at him. “I guess that’s the reason you were the one I went to first when I came up with this honestly disaster of a plan.”

Heeseung let a laugh escape him as he firmly blinked away the last of his desire to cry and leaned forward to finally press his lips to Sunoo’s, wrapping the other boy up in his arms. Sunoo let out a happy hum as he threw his arms around Heeseung’s neck, the two sharing a warm – if somewhat wet – kiss as the fireworks continued to fly into the sky above them. Heeseung pulled back to press warm kisses on Sunoo’s cheeks, his nose and his chin, all of which were punctuated by Sunoo’s happy giggles before he placed one more gently on his lips. He then pulled Sunoo into a tight hug, burrowing his face into the scarf wrapped around Sunoo’s neck.

“Happy New Year.” Heeseung heard Sunoo’s little greeting over the distant, muted sound of fireworks going off, feeling the warmth of his breath brushing against his ear.

“Happy New Year,” he murmured, voice muffled against Sunoo’s scarf as the two of them continued to stand wrapped together on the edge of the cliff as the rest of the world rung in the new year.

Heeseung honestly could have just stood there for the rest of his life, basking in the warmth of this other person that meant so much to him but he suddenly realized something and pulled back with a small pout, looking down at Sunoo who watched him curiously.

“Wait.” Sunoo cocked his head questioningly. “I should have been the one to ask you out this time since you were the one who technically did it first back then at the café.” Sunoo snorted in disbelief, a fond smile crossing his face as he playfully wound his arms around Heeseung’s neck, standing on his tiptoes to meet Heeseung’s eyelevel.

“I mean… you still can?” Heeseung chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to Sunoo’s cute nose.

“Will you go out with me Kim Sunoo?”

“Of course.” Sunoo pressed forward to place his own kiss on Heeseung’s nose, the cold vanishing under his touch. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Heeseung woke up the next morning, half-convinced that he’d dreamed up the miracle that was the previous night. It didn’t take him long to realize that that wasn’t the case as he slowly became aware that he’d, at some point in the night, made his way over to Sunoo’s side of the bed and was currently holding him tightly in his arms. Sunoo’s head was lying comfortably on his outstretched arm and it took Heeseung a few hazy moments before he realized that he was curled inwards and watching him wake up with a small smile on his face.

“Good morning,” Sunoo greeted, his smile lazy and slow from having just woken up. Heeseung cracked a bleary smile, never the morning person.

“G’morning,” he mumbled, lifting his hand that wasn’t currently supporting Sunoo’s head to gently brush Sunoo’s bangs off of his forehead so he could learn forward and press a kiss to it. Sunoo hummed happily beneath him and pressed closer, laying his head on top of his chest as they slowly woke up together.

“This is nice,” Sunoo’s voice was quiet and content, Heeseung humming in agreement as they both cuddled, warm under the blanket as they watched snow start to fly outside their room’s window.

“You know,” Heeseung mumbled, playing with Sunoo’s fingers as his hand lay on his chest, “I’m curious. How did you know that I’d say yes last night? Was I really that obvious?” Sunoo hummed, burrowing closer to Heeseung, the two of them wrapped in the cozy warmth that you feel when you first wake up in the morning and don’t want to get out of bed.

“Would you believe me if I said that I really hadn’t considered the possibility of you liking me until yesterday?” Heeseung laughed a little, incredulous.

“Seriously? From what Jungwon and Riki kept saying I was sure that my attempts to hide how I felt were failing miserably.”

“Actually,” Sunoo said, linking their fingers together, “Riki came to me after you left with Jungwon yesterday morning and… I guess you could say he yelled at me. At least, he was more serious than I think I’d ever seen him. It was kind of scary actually,” he added with a little laugh.

“What did he say?”

“Oh, that I was being dumb and wasn’t seeing the situation clearly. He didn’t outright say that you liked me, but he did say that I should think about everything that had happened this past week including what my own feelings were and see if anything had changed.”

“I’m guessing you realized they had,” Heeseung concluded, lifting their joined hands up a little bit. He felt Sunoo nod against his shoulder.

“And it terrified me,” he admitted softly, tightening his grip on Heeseung’s hand. “I’ve had a crush on Sunghoon-hyung for such a long time that I’d become comfortable with it but to suddenly realize that at some point I’d begun clinging to the memory of a feeling and ignoring the feelings that had appeared for you… it really frightened me.” Sunoo’s voice became strained as he pressed even closer to Heeseung. “I thought for sure I’d ruined everything and that my last chance might have been last night.”

“So that’s why you seemed so nervous yesterday. Here I was thinking it was because of Sunghoon when it was really because of me,” Heeseung chuckled quietly as Sunoo whined in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize my feelings.” Heeseung glanced down to see Sunoo looking up at him from his spot on his shoulder. “It must have been hard.” Heeseung smiled at him gently.

“To be fair,” he admitted, “I wasn’t willing to admit anything to myself until the moment you kissed me in the kitchen a few days ago.” Sunoo groaned, a blush covering his face.

“I still can’t believe I did that,” he muttered, causing Heeseung to giggle at his flushed cheeks.

“I mean, as far as first kisses go, I think that’s going to be a pretty memorable one.” Sunoo smiled at that, beaming up at Heeseung before craning his neck up to press a soft, quick kiss to Heeseung’s mouth. Heeseung blinked in surprise as he felt his ears heat up beneath Sunoo’s grin.

“The first of many I’ll happily give to you without any warning so you blush just like you did then every single time.” Heeseung pouted and rolled his eyes even as his lips quivered with a smile.

“Look who’s talking,” he muttered, watching as Sunoo’s ears flushed even as he talked. “You should have seen how red you were then. I honestly thought I might have momentarily lost it and kissed you instead.” Sunoo giggled and pressed one more kiss to Heeseung’s mouth before snuggling against his side once more.

“Pretty sure this is what we call a tied game,” he laughed as Heeseung raised a hand to lazily thread his fingers through Sunoo’s bangs. The two of them lay there quietly as the morning came into being around them. Soon enough they began to hear their friends waking up, the noise of their conversations moving downstairs as everyone greeted the morning.

“Should we tell our friends?” Heeseung suddenly asked after a few more moments of comfortable silence. Sunoo craned his head up to look at him and the two of them exchanged playful grins.

Minutes later, Heeseung and Sunoo barrelled into the kitchen with a whirlwind of puppy-energy, their friends all glancing up as they tumbled in still in their pajamas with sleep-mussed hair. Jake was at the stove frying eggs, Sunghoon watching him from behind with his chin hooked over his shoulder. Riki and Jungwon were gathering utensils as Jay carefully cut up some fruit. All five of them watched with varying levels of surprise as Sunoo and Heeseung kept glancing at each other before looking away and dissolving into giggles every time their eyes met.

“What’s going on?” Jay asked after a few moments of just watching them. Heeseung coughed to get everyone’s attention as Sunoo hung eagerly from his arm, both of them struggling to contain their grins.

“Happy New Year everyone!” Heeseung said, looking around at his friends. “Good news! We’re dating!” A clatter came from Jungwon and Riki who immediately dropped the utensils they’d been holding back into the cutlery drawer, matching looks of shock crossing their faces. The other three looked at the couple with equally hilarious expressions of confusion.

“You’ve… been dating though?” Jay said, looking completely lost as Heeseung and Sunoo finally lost control of their elated laughter, the two of them running out of the kitchen and back upstairs, racing to see who could finish getting ready first. Jay looked at the spot where they had disappeared in confusion as Jungwon and Riki stared at each other, wide-eyed. Jake and Sunghoon resumed what they had been doing – that is, Jake cooking while Sunghoon stood draped over him like a koala.

Upstairs, Heeseung and Sunoo stumbled back into their room, giggling all the while. Heeseung took a step towards the bathroom in order to freshen up before breakfast but he was suddenly barreled over from behind by Sunoo, the younger boy throwing his arms around Heeseung’s waist and resting his cheek against his back as he hugged him tightly. Heeseung smiled as the two of them stood still in this space, reveling together in the fact that the charade they’d began over a week ago no longer had an expiry date. It still felt surreal but as Heeseung turned in Sunoo’s arms in order to press a firm kiss on his forehead, Sunoo smiling happily up at him, he knew that they’d have a very long time and then some to explore what they could be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe this turned out to be the longest chapter haha
> 
> this fic wasn't supposed to be this long, it really got away from me as i was writing it. but sunseung deserve more fics so i'm happy to contribute!! i hope you all enjoyed it :))
> 
> also, i don't know if anyone noticed but jakehoon definitely have their own little arc within this story. idk if i'll ever write it though, if i do it'd probably be a one-shot sequel or something. we'll see!!
> 
> thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos it really means a lot <33
> 
> pls [vote](https://twitter.com/enhypenvotecrew/status/1353672170442870788?s=20) for enha roty on mubeat!


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